Serious winter calls for serious sunshine. I just pulled mine out of the closet. I bought my Verilux HappyLite a couple years ago. People laughed and laughed until they tried it and got happy, too.

This year especially, nothing could be cheaper than taking a vacation in your living room. Talk about punting during a recession.

Years ago I interviewed Nicholas Harmon, the CEO of Verilux, the happy lighting company, to understand how his lights were different. They are. It's called full spectrum lighting and there is such a thing as light therapy. This version of course, will have you talking to yourself unless you invite company.

These Verilux lights simulate daylight and the effect that a nice bright sunny day outside has on your brain. Plants grow better, kids do better on homework and if you suffer from SAD, seasonal affective disorder (lack of sunshine), a half hour a day exposed to this kind of light helps offset depression. Unfortunately you don't get tan...just happy. Ok then, sunshine you can afford. Check out Verilux Light Therapy Products and Full Spectrum Lighting.

p.s. If I sounded happier than usual it's because I am writing this with my HappyLite on.

Attitude is everything!
Best,
Debbie

Happy New Year! Time for new resolutions. I decided to try Zumba.

You may have seen the new infomercials of the gyrating hips hopping their way to weight loss. Me too. My local gym added the class this week so I went. How hard can gyrating be?

Ask my stiff neck.

The music is fun, and the steps are easy to catch on to, But keeping up the pace? Let's just say the moves reminded me of some I may have attempted after a few cosmos late at night in some club once upon a time. (Okay — last week.)

Zumba without strobe lights and liquor? Whew! Tough sweaty stuff. Made me have new respect for those Dancing with the Stars people. Me, I was dancing seeing stars, utilizing muscles that apparently went into early retirement. In the mirror behind the instructor I watched myself do hip gyrations that would make my mother blush and my daughter leave town.

Zumba, my dear girlfriends, is the perfect workout for those of you just heading back into the dating game. Just be prepared for moves you haven't used in a while and get some Ben Gay. That's all I have  to say.

Attitude is everything!
Debbie

Leave me a comment or email me anytime at dnigro@firstwivesworld.com

Dear Black & Decker,

Talk about the perfect gift for a divorced gal!

Congratulations for coming out with the Stud Sensor! OMG! I bought one for myself and can't wait to see how it works. Your packaging says it detects studs through walls up to 3/4-inch thick.

Whoa! I knew technology had come a long way but wow, this is really exciting. I didn't open the package yet because I am just not ready.

You see, I overate again during the holidays and there's no point hunting studs if you're not prepared to do something about it once you hone in.

So here's my weekend plan. I'm going to drink lots of water, workout extra hard, do my roots, get a manicure, and pick up a couple of AA batteries. 

On Monday I'm going to give my Stud Sensor a whirl.

I finally have room for it in my pocketbook now that I'm done with all those freakin holiday coupons — even if it is the It size of one of those old cell phones. Hey, it could be the size of a rump roast — who cares as long as it works. I'll let you know.

One question: Is there any particular protocol I am supposed to follow once I detect a stud through a 3/4-inch wall? Please get back to me before Monday.

Happy Holidays!
Debbie Nigro
Chief Executive Girlfriend
First Wives World
dnigro@firstwivesworld.com

If we took all the parents whose kids will be going with the other side of the family this holiday and put them all in once place, we'd probably have to ask the NFL to give up half their stadiums for a day. Talk about the perfect dating-after-divorce opportunity!

Seriously...parents who end up alone on a holiday are an awkward lot. If it's you, it's easy to fall into feeling sorry for yourself. Lonely, absurd...all the possible uncomfortable words can apply.

Stop it! The kids have it much worse. They are human ping-pong balls expected to pop back and forth between allegiances seamlessly. They don't want to be doing this, either. Trying to please everybody is a royal pain.

Here are 5 attitude adjusters to get you through if you will be solo without your kids for the holiday:

1. For a very short window you have no responsibility...this will pass quickly use it wisely — it's a gift.

2. You can lay on the couch for absolutely no reason, not make your bed, throw your towels on the floor, leave dishes in the sink — everything you tell them not to do — without guilt. Until they return.

3. You can go wherever you want, with whomever you want, and do whatever you want and not have to be home until they come back.

4. You can hit the road and be an adventurous visitor to people you never have time to catch up with.

5. Kids are telegrams for family gossip — you'll get all the latest dirt about everything and everybody when they return.

Critical reminder: It takes kids a few days once they get home to come back from loyalty to the other side. It's not you...give them a break.

Leave me a comment saying "solo on the on holiday"...and I'll drop you one back...because my kid's going with her dad and I get it.

Email Debbie anytime: dnigro@firstwivesworld.com

On the First Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

Where the hell is my Alimony?

On the Second Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

I have two boxing gloves

Where the hell is my Alimony?

On the Third Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

There are three den leaks

I have two boxing gloves

Where the hell is my Alimony?


On the Fourth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

I have four bawling kids

Three den leaks

Two boxing gloves

Where the hell is my Alimony?

On the Fifth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

I have FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)

Four bawling kids

Three den leaks

Two boxing gloves

Where the hell is my Alimony?


On the Sixth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

I have six lawyers preying

FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)

Four bawling kids

Three den leaks

Two boxing gloves

Where the hell is my Alimony?

On the Seventh Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

I have seven accountants skimming

Six lawyers preying

FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)

Four bawling kids

Three den leaks

Two boxing gloves

Where the hell is my Alimony?


On the Eighth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

I have eight shrubs a wilting

Seven accountants skimming

Six lawyers preying

FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)

Four bawling kids

Three den leaks

Two boxing gloves

Where the hell is my Alimony?

On the Ninth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me

Kids have nine dancing lessons

I am creating a new single divorced girl business rule. All business lunches with charming men will be now be held on Fridays! You have a glass of wine, hopefully share a couple of laughs, talk a little business turkey and then later once you get home, you don't care if you go out...because you feel like you have been out! Happened yesterday to me.

A couple weeks ago, I briefly met an interesting potential business contact at a gathering of unique businesspeople, and as is my style, I called to arrange a follow up meeting. He suggested lunch at a restaurant on Park Ave in NYC. There wasn't much conversation in between, and I was only interested in discussing business.

I was all bundled up in layers when I arrived and spotted him waiting at the bar. A warm hello and then he offered to take my coat for me. Okay, then I love chivalry. He patiently and gallantly waited while I took off layer after layer, my coat and hat and scarf, and whisked them away to safety.

Call him Business Superman. Then he asked if I wanted to have a drink first. Sure! It's Friday! Handsome, tall, and charming with a London accent and a quick wit, we were off and running by the first sip of wine. I didn't know he was divorced until the second sip, by the third sip I knew the whole story.: Divorced twice with a child from the first marriage and  a horrendous experience. I listened with great sincerity and empathy.

Then we had some good fun talking about dating and sharing stories. Then we had a fabulous lunch at the bar. Laughing all the way. We both like eating at the bar. Then we had a wonderful business discussion with great potential. Then he paid the check. Then he got my coat and hat and scarf etc etc etc. and then we left and walked halfway in the  same direction, before warmly kissing on the cheek goodbye. I made a wonderful new friend and we will create some wonderful business together.

Crack me up...Alec Greven, a fourth grader from Castle Rock, Colorado, hand-wrote a pamphlet called "How To Talk To Girls" to help out his buddies' love lives.

He was selling it for $3. Now he has a book deal with Harper Collins. Is he giving his buds good advice?

Alec tells them, "Comb your hair and don't wear sweats."

Yes, honey, we girls put in a load of effort to look good for you guys, so this is the least you can do.

Alec tells the boys, "Girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power."

Yes, Alec, we do have the most power but we rarely remember that when we see you with your hair combed and all dressed up.

Alec says, "The best way to approach a girl is to keep it to a simple 'hi,'" adding, if "I say 'hi' and you say 'hi' back, we're probably off to a good start."

Yes, yes, yes, Alec! We prefer you to make the first move, otherwise we may never open our mouths.

Alec warns, "A crush is like a love disease: It can drive you mad."

You're tellin' me, kid! You boys don't own the market on this, Alec. A crush can, has, and will continue to drive us all mad till we exit this planet. No word back on whether this goes on in Heaven.

Alec says, "Make sure you have good friends who don't try to take the girl you like."

Girls need to get the same advice, sweetie.

Alec says, "Girls always like the smartest boys."

Big smooch to you, Alec, from all the mothers of America needing a lure to improve homework skills.

Alec says, "Class clowns never make a good love story with a girl, if you catch my drift."

Must be an age thing, kid...guys who make us laugh are the smartest ones and get the most dates.

OMG...even my hair follicles are swollen. I am typing this while eating left over sweet potatoes because I just read they can debloat you. I'll get to that in a moment.

First, I just want to announce that the only thing I will strangely be grateful for these next few days is early darkness.

Darkness makes bloated people look more attractive.

Allow me to point out there is a marked post-holiday difference between swollen divorced women and swollen married women.

That being, that married women usually have a matching swollen spouse.

Single divorced women feel swollen alone and have little desire to attempt to get dressed attractively and socialize with the opposite sex.

Bloating for us is a lonely sport.

Post-holiday emotional and physical exhaustion when you wing a holiday without a wingman usually leads at some point to thumbing lazily through women's magazines you've been meaning to read searching for tips to lose weight.

On page 23 of the December issue of First Magazine I found the sweet potato flat-belly connection.

It said, "Each of these tasty tubers contains 950 mg of potassium — nearly twice the amount in a banana.

This electrolyte enhances the kidneys ability to eliminate retained fluids, banishing bloat in as little as 24 hours.

Plus sweet potatoes' betaine clears fatty deposits from the liver, accelerating the organs breakdown of belly fat for fuel."

Okay, if they say so.

I must not have eaten enough of them during Thanksgiving dinner to offset the other 20 dishes.

The ones I am eating now still have baby marshmallows attached.

I am not sure if that's a deal breaker. I'll let you know if I am still unable to get dressed in 24 hours.

Attitude Is Everything!
Debbie

To check in with Debbie or suggest a blog topic, email: dnigro@firstwivesworld.com

I had a fun reunion in Dallas with a divorced gal pal I just love. We caught up over lunch about everything including her social life. They're either looking' for a nurse or a purse, she said point blank. I spit out my soup. When she told me her sister just sent her and her contractor a three year anniversary card, I snorted my salad.

What's going on around the country with divorced women with respect to their social lives really runs the gamut of emotions at different times.

This particular sweet potato has been in a couple serious relationships since her divorce back when, then she attempted some online and offline dates but they weren't working out.

She realized the problem too. HER. She just didn't give two craps. I think that was a quote.

She wished she did she said, but she didn't. So she stopped dating and started picking up men — in her pick-up truck — to work at her house and then go home.

Her contractor is the current man in her life and apparently its been going on for awhile. Three years is awhile, no?

But she explained, even a steady contractor can go MIA on occasion forcing you to find a replacement.

She told me she was so excited about a recent available contractor, he thought she was coming on to him.

Something tells me it may have had something to do with her opening line — "Show me your rock hard sheet rock baby!"

Some contractors even play hard to get she said, which is why her pick up line is of choice is? ... "Hey I've got a pick-up!"

So now we know.

Some women are out there flashing sexy legs and cleavage to attract men...others are out there flashing pick-up trucks to attract day workers.

To each her own.

Attitude is everything!

Debbie

To email Debbie: dnigro@firstwivesworld.com

I feel like putting on my feetie pajamas at 5 o'clock. I know this happens every year when it begins getting dark early, but this year I can't take it any more. I am fighting back! Anything not to be on the couch for hours in between hustling back and forth to the refrigerator.

I need to suck up the daylight whenever I can so I have been forcing myself to get out. Mostly I try and make it to the gym because someone shrunk all the clothes in my closet.

To amuse myself I have been taking all the different kinds of classes they offer. Spin, pilates, kickboxing, body conditioning, etc. Monday night was boxing. I didn't notice I was the oldest person there until about half-way through. My chest was heaving and I was wondering if anyone in the gym had medical knowledge. What the heck was I thinking? After jumping rope, doing pushups on a hard wood floor, and completely flattening my manicure inside my boxing gloves on a punching bag, I had no idea if I would ever see darkness again...I was praying I could get back outside to the dark parking lot.

Too proud to flee, and with raccoon mascara eyes, I really hoped I wouldn't become a casualty. What's too much for a woman my age? Is there an age limit on boxing? Anyway, I made it through, high fived the 20 year olds on the way out and will continue to fight (box) getting SAD this year. SAD being Seasonal Affective Disorder. Lack of sunlight causes serious depression in many people. Figure out how to fight back at it if you are one of them. Maybe you should be the gloved one next?