Welcome to my recipe for disaster. On Thanksgiving Day this year my daughter will be 21. I am trying to combine a milestone birthday, a holiday, the umpteenth anniversary of my father's death and a tentacled divorce. I can't even tell you the half of it because doing so here would compromise the privacy of people close to me. I'm leaning toward Jet Blue. I will focus instead on stuffing.

My favorite stuffing story was the year I decided to make the bird at my house and transport it to my late brother Stephen's home. People were not relaxed. I was never known as the turkey girl and I that year I was going to show them! 

Everyone at the table watched in awe as my mother pulled a plastic bag of innards out of the stuffing cavity. I can still hear my brother's hysteria. This year I'm at it again...shoot me.

For decades it was my mother's Italian egg stuffing recipe. A combination of, roughly, a dozen large eggs, a handful of grated Locatelli cheese, a handful of chopped fresh Italian parsley, enough plain bread crumbs to thicken the mix till it drips off a spoon and a little salt and pepper. This then blows up inside the turkey and is absolutely delicious.

My sister-in-law Susie started going with her sausage & chestnut stuffing and my stuffing allegiance is now challenged. Actually, I am open to stuffing suggestions. Got any?

Ok, here's the latest cougar news — because everyone and their mother now thinks I am a cougar expert, except my own mother who may I remind you, I keep sending out of the country every time I am on the air somewhere talking about this. She is now a very frequent flier.

On Wednesday I was a guest on "Sex Files" on Sirius Satellite Radio Maxim Channel 108, which is hosted simultaneously by the lovely Anna David (out of NY) and the lovely Amy Spencer (out of LA). Every week they talk to men about sex, and this week's topic was "Dating & Cougars: How To Meet One, How To Woo One and How to Keep One Happy." No worries, I handled it.

Also on with us was Illona Paris, a sex therapist and self-described cougar, whose latest book out this week is called Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men. Her mother must live in Bora Bora.

She told hot stories. I tried to give warm advice but I used my every day Cougress voice. Wink. Listen to it here.

I should add that before allowing me up to the studios, for security purposes, I had to go through a "cat" scan. LOL — thought that was funny. Sort of purrfect timing.

Truthfully, the biggest thrill for me was hearing the show's hostesses with the mostesses, Anna and Amy, jump on board with my temporary new word for cougar — "Cougress," which I feel is at least a bit more feminine and a touch less harsh. By jove, I think I've started a movement.

I, Debbie Nigro, Chief Executive Girlfriend of FWW, am devoted to an ongoing mission to explore for YOU, my faithful and devoted now-single-again girlfriends, all opportunities related to new men, mischief, and madness. This requires a load of continuous caffeine and an occasional gown.

My latest adventure even required a "wingman." Try finding one of those on the shelf at Walmart. Let me explain.

Some weeks ago the very famous matchmaker Janis Spindel contacted me to suggest I should attend her upcoming Elegant Affair. The invitation said attendees would be attractive, well-educated, upscale professionals age 40 and up personally selected by Janis and her cupids, and that every guest would be single and looking for love. I've had worse invitations.

Though intrigued to explore this rooftop black-tie soiree on your behalf, I didn't respond in time. When I did, I was told they had more women than men, thus I could only come if I could help keep the male/female ratio somewhat even, and bring a wingman.... Meaning, someone who I wasn't dating who is also eligible.

On a day's notice, Tony Dilluvio (pictured with me at the event, above) agreed to be my wingman. Tony has come to love his new "friendship for fame" trade-off relationship with me (also see last week's Today Show clip and my Debbie Does Divorce "He Said/She Said" segment with Tony).

We each hustled over the next 24 hours doing what you do when you're going to a black tie — finding something to wear. Difference is Tony drove to a tux place and emerged in 10 minutes with the perfect ensemble.

A friend forfeited her Madonna concert ticket when she went away on sabbatical to Italy. I'd rather be in her shoes roaming the Tuscan landscape, but since that's not possible, I was happy to accept her ticket.

I don't know Madonna's recent music, but can sing every word of her first few hits "Borderline," "Lucky Star," and "Holiday" — and even remember the grapevines and jazz hands of the routines I made up to go with them 25 years ago! Anyway, I knew the show would be a mixed-media extravaganza of video and dance — why not indulge in a little escapism, rock-and-roll style?

But hours before the show, Madonna publicist announced her and Guy Ritchie's plans to divorce. So what might have been for me a carefree evening of utter abandon, singing and dancing along with Madge, turned into constant analysis of her every move. Ooh, was that sadness in her voice when she sang that lyric? Was she referring to her own pain in that song?

When she spoke to the crowd I listened only for her to mention her impending divorce. When your own marriage is on the rocks, you are keenly interested to know how others in the same boat deal.

Certainly the crowd was responding to her specific situation and trying to buoy her through cheers when she sang the telling line "You must love me." But it wasn't abandonment she was feeling when she finally decided to address the elephant in the room.

"This song is for the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who act like that. God knows I do." 

What happens when a Midwestern land-lubber and her daughters take their maiden voyage with a life-long sailor and his son? The best vacation of their lives!

Of course, it could have been a disaster. All of us cooped up on a 47-foot sailboat in the middle of Caribbean for eight days: no TV, no TiVo, very spotty Internet and cell phone service. We'd taken trips together before, but nothing more than a weekend, and always with a full assortment of techno toys to keep the kids occupied. I also worried about seasickness, squabbling, whining and boredom.

Plus there was the issue of different parenting styles: he, more indulgent with just one; me, with three, decidedly less so. And J was four years younger than my youngest and delighted in playing the annoying little brother my girls never had. Oh, this could be really, really bad.

Or really, really great.

I needn't have worried. The kids delighted in their quarters, as cozy as they were, especially the escape hatches in the ceilings that they popped up and down through like prairie dogs the entire trip. We'd occasionally hear some bickering among them, then J shrieking that the girls "are killing me....hee  hee hee!"  At which point, they would dive in the water, swim to shore, build sand castles and then swim back to the boat.

Every day, a different cove or marina to explore. Every day more beautiful than the one before. And every day at 5 o clock, an elaborate cocktail hour. How veddy veddy civilized. The crew would prepare two pitchers of fancy tropical drinks, potent for us, a virgin version for the kids, and delicious complicated hors d'oeuvres. "Oh, Mommy," my youngest asked. "Can we start doing this every night back home?" Ah, she is so to the manner born.  And I am so not.

We're launching a contest called "Redefining Divorce," but I can't enter because I'm an employee — DARN!

I had visions of winning that $1,000 Spa Finder gift certificate and having 10 guys massage me at once. Oh well, good luck to the rest of you guys. In keeping with the theme though, I created the following:

"Five Phrases That Redefine Divorce" —  To Use & Amuse When Introducing Yourself.

Here's how it works.

Imagine you are introducing yourself with an outstretched hand ready for a handshake.

Now pretend you're saying, "Hi, I'm so and so, and I'm divorced."

Now I want you to try the same thing again, but this time, choose any one of the phrases below and substitute it in place of the word "divorced."

Go ahead — try 'em all out and see which ones work best for you.

"Five Phrases That Redefine Divorce" — To Use & Amuse When Introducing Yourself:

1) Hi there I'm (your name) and I only make one side of my bed.

2) Hi there I'm (your name) and I accept invitations to celebrations — plus NONE.

3) Hi There I'm (your name) and I call somebody else's husband to hang a TV on the wall.

4) Hi there I'm (your name) and I stop at rest stops along a highway whenever I want to.

5) Hi there I'm (your name), a mom who goes out on dates and has more fun than my kid(s).

If these don't do the trick then just flip 'em your naked ring ringer.

Remember — Attitude is everything!
Debbie

This was a busy whirl of a week with travel, flirtation, airport fantasies and lots and lots of moms. In 2008 Jennifer Kampmier founded www.IndyBabyExpo.com, after dumping her online dating biz, and falling in love with a baby — her own, of course.

Her baby fair is an extravaganza of merchandise for moms-to-be and new moms with tots. Even though my children are way into high school, Jennifer and I synced up over the whole Mamapalooza and Moms Who Rock phenomenon and decided to team up for Spring 2009 events. So I jetted out to meet her in person.

We connected right away. As we sat on her deck into the wee hours, with the Indiana moon hovering, we spilled our stories of men, marriage, online dating, babies and being women entrepreneurs.

Past midnight and way into drinks our stories came spilling out, and I knew I had found a kindred spirit. For someone in the mothering expo biz, Jenn has made independent choices that I admire and respect.

She's single by choice, and raising her 3-year-old son, Zane, on her own. Long term plans for her mean growing her business and perhaps ultimately moving to far off places so she and Zane could have a chance to experience other cultures.

I met and stayed with her family for the weekend, and got to chat with her delightful parents, who've been married for 36 years.

As self-described flower children in the late 70s, they bought a mobile home and moved their young family around America. Jenn is in her early 30s. I'm 51. Even though, technically, we're different generations, and our choices have led us down different paths, we had both read every single one of the same books on health, wealth, spirit and empowerment.

When our conversation got deep, our philosophies turned to alternative ways of thinking and being.

My birthday is Sunday.  Although I won't say how old I'm going to be, I will say that I'm not quite 30, but it's getting pretty damn close. I know it may sound silly, but the 30 mark is really freaking me out. I want to have accomplished something great by the time I reach that milestone.

Some of you may remember that for my birthday last year, I got to go to family court. What a joy.

The year before that, I had to practically beg my husband to celebrate with me. I recall him saying that he had a lot of work to do, and wasn't sure he could be home. I remember watching him outside, from our kitchen window, pace back and forth on the porch, talking on the phone. I remember when he came back inside and told me that he had "worked it out" so that he could stay with me.

Apparently, "stay with me" meant make me dinner and then leave.

It wasn't until months later that I found out the truth. There was no work, there was no working anything out. Levi was seeing another woman. Levi went to be with another woman...on my birthday.

So, the last bunch of birthdays have been pretty crappy.

I'd almost like to just let this one pass by quietly. Stay home, snuggle in and watch Desperate Housewives. My friends don't want to let that happen.

And the truth is, I don't really want that to happen either.

So, here's to a new year of Faith, literally and figuratively. Here's to better birthdays. Now that I think of it, I really do have a lot to celebrate!

Debra Messing and Debra Nigro. Isn't it fun when someone has your same name and spells it the same way, too?

Debra Messing will be 'posing' as a divorced wife in the new weekly TV series The Starter Wife. I, on the other hand, will continue posing as myself — the real life divorcee.

If Messing were a real divorcee, she'd have known better than to put her show on Friday nights. Divorcees want to go out on Friday nights and mess around, or something like that.

Friday nights pose a dilemma for divorced women everywhere. Somehow you just feel you are "supposed" to go out.

Friday nights have always seemed like the night all the other singles are out — somewhere. Saturday is still "hypothetically" date night. So given a choice, divorced women will pick Friday as their night out on the town.

Therefore, I assume, in doing their research about when to air The Starter Wife, they must not have had a lot of divorcees in on the decision.

Maybe I should call the producer and at the very least have Debra Messing's character on the series, Molly, join Firstwivesworld.com. This way we can be assured her character will make wiser decisions going forward.

I'm single, I'm writing this on Friday, I am awake, it's a beautiful night and my jeans aren't choking me to death...so forgive me, I'm going out to mess around somewhere. Debra Messing — I love you, but I will see you on Tivo.

Then we can compare notes to see who had more fun!

Until then...I will rely on the First Wives World Social Network "Starter Wife Group" — who did not find qualified babysitters — to keep me updated.