Header

I'm walking through the store, barely noticing the music they're pumping into the sound system, when all of a sudden I realize that I'm singing along with the tune that's playing: "Going to the Chapel." I used to love that song. When I was about 10 or 11 years old my parents gave me a cassette of Motown classics and I used to play it over and over, singing along and making up dances.

Back then I thought that was just the way it worked. You meet a boy, you fall in love, and "we'll never be lonely anymore." I'll admit that when that particular lyric hit the sound system I actually snorted out loud.

When I was younger I really thought that would be true. I thought that marriage was a partnership and I would never feel lonely for companionship or for the romantic gazes from a man who loved and adored me.

It wasn't even that I thought I would find a man and have his undivided attention forever, but I never thought that I would wind up married and lonely. Bitterly lonely. The kind of lonely where you sit in your house and think to yourself, "Who the heck is this guy that I'm married to?"

Back in better times, I wasn't lonely at all. We had a good social group and my husband and I would spend hours talking to each other and laughing and generally having a great time.

Fast forward to now, and we don't really have that much to say to each other. He'll tell me about his day and then listen politely while I tell him about mine, then he switches on the television while I work. So instead of "we'll never be lonely anymore" my lyrics are more like "we'll never feel connected anymore."

That stinks.

Recent posts by Megan Thomas

Megan Thomas • 12/03/2008
One of the things that pulled my husband and me apart was his fascination...
Megan Thomas • 11/27/2008
Some time ago I wrote about my disappointment over not being able to join my...
Megan Thomas • 11/20/2008
Sometimes I want so badly to have a happy, intimate marriage that my heart...
Megan Thomas • 11/17/2008
Until now I had never had a comment on one of my blogs that elicited a...
Megan Thomas • 11/13/2008
Do you want to know which nights I get the best sleep? I get the best sleep...
Megan Thomas • 11/10/2008
My husband has accepted a position overseas for a year. The kids and I won't...
Megan Thomas • 11/06/2008
I have back problems that sometimes spread up into my neck, and it gets...