Forget about those Santa Ana winds. Oscar's embers blew directly into Ann Blanchard's house Tuesday night as Hollywood honchos, TV execs, first and second wives, along with various and sundry well-wishers gathered for a reading of Mimi Schmir's fictional and hilarious "Hot Flashes" blog...

The confab, masterminded by the former William Morris überagent who's now with Mosaic Media, drew Hollywood's finest TV and film actresses who read selections from the blog which chronicles the rollercoaster antics of Schmir's heroine, Esme, a late 40s-ish divorced mother of two. While I wasn't in Ann's parlor experiencing the "Hot Flashes," faux and for-real, firstwivesworld.com's intrepid correspondent reports the evening was a scorcher. Yes, HOT or you know, HOT!

Actresses Amy Brenneman ("Private Practice" and "Judging Amy"); Dana Delany ("Desperate Housewives"); Kathyrn Morris ("Cold Case"); and Natasha Henstridge ("Commander-in-Chief") each morphed into Esme as they read portions of the edgy blog that began on firstwivesworld.com. And they say there aren't any good parts for women?? Huh?!

Schmir, a writer for TV hits "Grey's Anatomy" and "Shark," was feted for her fiesty and comedic portrayal of the daily exploits of a pre-menopausal late 40s mom who's trying to move on with her life after a divorce in which her husband leaves her for a younger model (surprise, surprise). "Hot Flashes" just may be the next "Starter Wife" but there's a difference: "Hot Flashes" started on firstwivesworld.com, yes, the Web baby, and is destined for episodic television.

Oprah spoke with M. Gary Neuman, author and founder of the Sandcastles Program, a program for kids ages six to 17 designed to help them cope with their parents' separation or divorce.

On the show, Oprah and Neuman spoke with kids about the pain of their parents' divorces. In one case, a mother left her two kids in the care of their father, but the pain of her abandonment and rejection remained fresh as both the boy and girl wept openly over the loss.

Kids tend to feel responsible for the rejection of the parent who abandoned them, Neuman said. He told the two siblings on the show that they didn't make their mom go away and they can't make her return.

Neuman told the audience that if kids don't let their emotions out at the time of the split, they will become damaged adults. Frequently boys grow up to experience rage, girls experience chronic depression. "Kids heal through love and connection," Neuman said. "They blame themselves after divorce and secretly think they can fix the divorce."

Neuman said parents should hold their tongues and never criticize one another in front of the kids. Parents should speak to their kids frankly when they have decided to divorce and allow them to ask questions. Spend time listening and talking and afterward, have everyone hold hands and hug.

For more information on Neuman's Sandcastles program, click here.

Did you know that couples typically wait six years too long to start marriage counseling? Often, by then, too much resentment has built up and it can be too late to repair the relationship.

I read an interesting piece on the Huffington Post by relationship expert Dr. Joshua Coleman who set out the Top Five red flags that you're headed for a divorce. Take a look and see if you agree:

1. You Often Fantasize About Divorce

Fantasizing about divorce offers a feeling of freedom. "During a crisis or during a particularly bad time in a marriage, reminding yourself that you can always leave can be a reassuring thought. However, chronic fantasizing about divorce may indicate that you're stuck in a dynamic from which you don't know how to escape and need more help to solve."

2. The Frequency of Your Negative Experiences Far Outweighs the Number of Your Positive Experiences with Each Other

"Marital researcher John Gottman found that in successful marriages, there are five positive exchanges for every negative. If the negative consistently outweigh the positive, then your marriage may be in trouble."

3. You Never Confide in Each Other

"Confiding in your spouse and having your spouse confide in you is an important way to relieve stress, strengthen your bond, and maintain a healthy 'us against the world' mentality. A lack of confiding may indicate that there's an insufficient amount of trust in the marriage."

4. One or Both of You Engages in Ongoing Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness or Stonewalling

"Research shows that couples who frequently use these defenses are more at risk for divorce than couples who rarely use them. While conflict is unavoidable, couples need to learn healthy ways ot expressing their complaints."

5. You Engage in the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

The findings of a new 10-year study reveal that women who force themselves to remain calm during fights with their spouses are at a higher risk of death and have a higher incidence of stress-related diseases like depression and irritable bowel syndrome.

In fact, women who "self-silence" were four times more likely to die than women who let it all out during arguments, according to the research conducted by Dr. Elaine D. Eaker of Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises in Gaithersburg, Md.

In my opinion, this research seems to prove what many women already know: You just gotta let it out! Why keep it all in? Express yourself to your spouse, partner, ex, kids, etc.

Eaker study examined behavior, incidence of heart disease and mortality within marriage. She wanted to understand the dynamics of what really goes on in a marriage during arguments. Her research also confirmed that marriage is good for men's health and that married men enjoy better health compared to unmarried men. We wonder if that's the case even when the men are terribly unhappy and stressed in their relationships.

Eaker's research, published in the July/August issue of Psychosomatic Medicine, suggests that men and women need to take a closer look at the changing roles and expectations for husbands and wives and in general, men and women in society. Too, she notes that marriage partners need to offer one another a safe place to express feelings of conflict before it's too late and the marriage ends in divorce.

First Wives World readers have come to know that our Debbie Nigro is a multi-talented and versatile woman who loves to shake things up--on her show, on the blog, in her life...Now, she's shakin' things up in your underwear drawer!

Yes, that's right...Debbie's latest guest column on About.com's Divorce Support channel is about changin' it up and changing out your undies. Going through a divorce? Go through your underwear collection while you're at it and revitalize your stock of bras, panties, body slimmers and heck, don't forget the stockings and garters...!

One of the best ways to move on after a divorce or when you're in the thick of a split, is to scout out new undergarments for every occasion and every mood. You'll feel better, sexier and like a new person. Take it from Debbie! Check out her column, the first in a regular series on About.com...

First Wives World has a terrific column featured on About.com's Guide to Divorce Support. The Guide's coordinator, Cathy Meyer, graciously asked our own Debbie Nigro to write a guest column for a series she's running this week on "Moving On."

Well, guess what? No one has more experience with movin' on and movin' up than Debbie, who has successfully reinvented her personal and professional life, post-divorce, with incredible energy and verve. She's resilient, and so are you!

In fact, that's the message of her piece on About called "A Formula For Getting Back to Great." It's all about women being in control of their destiny and plodding ahead, putting one foot in front of the other to embrace the present and, of course, the future.

Cathy and her team of experts are providing valuable information and resources that can help get you through. In fact, About has everything from chat rooms where you can swap ideas and information, to advice columns on dating, legal and financial issues and tips on how to deal with your kids in a divorce. They've got everything!

So check it out...but stay tuned to FirstWivesWorld.com because we're on the cusp of some exciting plans that will help you navigate divorce no matter what stage you're in--in fact, we're going to get you through each phase not only with useful resources and support from other women, but you'll be there with a smile on your face because we've got some fun, new shows that will entertain and tickle you as you discover that your best self lies ahead...

Yes, stay tuned. We can't wait...! And, check out Debbie's column here.

Used to be marriage started to get stale after seven years—you know, the proverbial "seven-year" itch. Now, apparently, we’re down to three years and some might argue, it’s really less than that when you factor in how sped up and disposable our culture has become. We actually throw people away. We throw relationships away.

Yes, marriage has become a highly fungible, disposable relationship. Okay, not to be all gloom and doom, but researchers now say that bloom is off the rose within just three years.

Researchers analyzed responses from two sets of married or cohabitating couples: One group was together for one to three years, the other for four to six years. Researchers found that for the most part, the couples involved for a shorter period of time were happier.

"The initial boost that marriage seems to provide fades over time,” said Professor Kelly Musick, a University of Southern California sociologist. And something we always sensed but couldn't confirm: “Some folks start getting less happy at the wedding reception," said Larry Bumpass, a professor at the University of Wisconsin in Madison, who co-wrote the study with Musick.

Research also showed that the median duration of first marriages that end in divorce remains a little more than seven years. That means those couples will likely spend more than half their married lives less happy than they were when they first walked down the aisle.

Musick noted that with nonmarital childbearing more common and women more economically independent, love and commitment for one another is what's keeping couples together and "that's fragile."

Terribly fragile, I might add. One most also have respect. A lot of respect for one's partner. Without it, you can forget about everything else.

Speaking at a public forum sponsored by the liberal Sojourners/Call to Renewal evangelical organization, Hillary Clinton said she relied on her faith in God to get through her husband’s infidelity and marital woes.

In a post last week referencing Carl Bernstein’s new book on Hillary, I noted that she declined to give her husband, former president Bill Clinton, a divorce because she was concerned about being a single mother, among other issues.

Hillary told the Sojourners audience: "I am very grateful that I had a grounding in faith that gave me the courage and the strength to do what I thought was right, regardless of what the world thought. …I'm not sure I would have gotten through it without my faith," she said in response to a question about how she dealt with her husband’s infidelity.

Clinton appeared with her rivals for the Democratic presidential race—John Edwards and Barack Obama. The candidates spoke about faith and values.

For more on this story, click here: http://www.spokesmanreview.com/ap/story.asp?AP_ID=D8PIGGM80

For starters, it’s a six-episode series debuting on USA Network tonight, this much we know. The network is flogging “The Starter Wife” like crazy and Debra Messing, who plays Molly, appears ravishing and in a decidedly non-starter-like pose on the sides of buses in New York City, among other cities.

In today’s New York Times, Alessandra Stanley comes up with her own take: “The term ‘starter wife’ is offensive enough to make it sound like a little kit to grow a spouse. Like a starter house that needs work, or a starter hobby kit with the bare essentials, this has the ugly ring of planned obsolescence.”

Ouch.

For those of you familiar with the premise (the series is based on Gigi Levangie Grazer's best-selling book of the same name), Molly’s dumped via cell phone by her husband Kenny, a Hollywood studio bigwig, after 10 years of marriage. She’s kicked to the curb because Kenny’s taken up with a young pop star. What a horrendous cliché and yet there are so many stories out there like this one that are for real.

Molly is the perfect studio exec's wife: She takes care of everything for boy/man Kenny and all with perfect hair. She supports his career, cleans up after him and appears perfect in public for every function. True, the skinny bo-tox bitch hyper-competitive L.A. lifestyle is not how most people live, but in this series, we get a glimpse into this rarified world and what women do to survive in it. Frankly, it looks like it sucks. Big time.

But it's not all botox and bitchiness: "Starter" is a story of reinvention, recovery of self and empowerment. And that's certainly the First Wives World story. Molly's on a journey to find her true self and self-acceptance. We hear she'll also find love again too...Thank God.