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What can we learn from serial celebrity break-ups, billionaire bust-ups, misbehaving spouses, pants-on challenged politicos and the ever-shifting landscape of divorce law?? Question is, "What CAN'T we learn"? With latte in hand and clicky finger at the ready, dive in for the best in divorce news, views, gossip, and buzz – assembled below for your reading pleasure. Being in "d" know is just clicks away.

Linda Lee's picture

The Cost to Men for Committing Adultery? Not Enough.

Posted by Linda Lee on Mon, 08/18/2008 - 12:14am

Married men are 7 percent more likely than married women to commit adultery. And when a man has an affair, he doesn’t seem to consider the consequences of his actions. So says a study to be published in the fall, “So What Did You Do Last Night? The Economics of Infidelity.”

Infidelity for women peaks at 45, the study found. For men, it peaks at age 55.

Gee, what 55-year-old confessed adulterer has been in the news this week?

John Edwards, who claimed a week ago that he at least had been “99 percent honest” in his statements about the young filmmaker Reille Hunter.

“… [A] wealthy, famous politician such as John Edwards is a man with plenty of opportunity, and it seems that he gave the costs of getting caught little consideration. [That] fits well with our findings,” Bruce Elmslie, an economics professor in the Whittemore School of Business and Economics at the University of New Hampshire and a co-author of the study, told Firstwivesworld.

The study, co-written with Edinaldo Tebaldi, assistant professor of economics at Bryant University in Rhode Island, was based on data from the United States General Social Survey.

It is unusual in that it looks at infidelity from a cost-benefit analysis, rather than a sociological or psychological point of view.

Other points made in their study:

1. Men who are more likely to commit adultery:
• Live in cities (where there is greater opportunity to escape discovery)
• Do not have a college degree
• Do not belong to any particular socioeconomic group

2. What men do not take into account when having an affair:
• The economic status of the new woman, or her ability to bear children
• Their wife’s educational level
• Religion

"As with spousal education, men don't weigh the costs — spousal quality or eternal damnation — when deciding whether or not to have an affair," Elmslie said.

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Naomi Dunne's picture

California's First Gay Divorcees

Posted by Naomi Dunne on Wed, 08/13/2008 - 11:42am

On the subject of gay marriage, Kinky Friedman — a Texas musician and wannabe politician — said “I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.”

For one lesbian couple in California, his prediction of misery was dead on.

Adelita Guajardo and Theresa Ramirez, residents of Fresno County, California, pledged their troth on June 27th of this year. Three days later they called it quits and are now going down in pseudo-history as the first same sex couple to file for divorce in the state of California.

Although their landmark achievement is noteworthy from a novelty standpoint, area legal experts suggest that their divorce will not hold legally significant consequences. It’s a simple divorce and, let’s face it, they didn’t exactly have a lot of time to rack up joint property or get pregnant.

While in other states a three-day lesbian marriage might turn heads, let’s be honest. California is home to both San Francisco and Hollywood. In a state where Britney Spears was married and subsequently unmarried in the time it takes the average person to change their underwear, I’m surprised it even made the news.

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Maureen Dempsey's picture

"Marriage Crisis" Strikes Egypt

Posted by Maureen Dempsey on Wed, 08/13/2008 - 8:00am

The BBC recently reported on an unusual circumstance for Egyptian divorce: a housing shortage. Affordable housing, to be exact.

Young couples in Cairo spends not weeks, not months, but years saving for an apartment in a soaring real estate market, and, according to a women's rights activists quoted in the piece, by the time a husband and wife can purchase a home and move in together, they're "sick of one another." Consequently, Egypt boasts a high newlywed divorce rate.

(Meanwhile, couples are doing just the opposite in the States. Those who would love to split up view divorce as a luxury — and are forced to stay together, burdened by the unbearable weight of decades-long mortagages and the crushing blows of the domestic housing market.)

Cairo has deemed it's situation a "marriage crisis," and measured are being taken to remedy the problem.

In fact, the housing crunch has inspired a "wealthy businessman" to give away an apartment for every day of Ramadan this September. Newly married couples will be chosen through a random drawing on an Egyptian game show; apparently, huge numbers have registered.

Maureen Dempsey's picture

Divorce Ruining the Environment?

Posted by Maureen Dempsey on Tue, 08/12/2008 - 8:08am

The Australian posted a recent article on the impact of divorce on the environment. The claim? That the results of divorce — multiple homes, cars, energy use — is eating way at the earth's resources. One can't argue with that, especially as a new report by the Australia's Department of Environment, Water, Heritage and the Arts released the following numbers:

"A four-person family that breaks up will generate around 43 percent more garbage than they did when they were together. They will use up to 34 percent more water and up to 70 percent more energy, depending on the type of new dwellings being occupied."

But what we can argue with is the alternative: Stay in a broken relationship? And keep the kids there, too, just to cut down on the garbage and utilities? Please. A rise in energy consumption seems far less detrimental than forcing kids to stay in a glued-together, patched-up broken home. With the electricity they save now, they'll be running up their therapist's bill with all the hours they'll spend sitting on the couch in 10 years.

And let's remember, with second marriages come a union of two houses to one. Live Science reports that the environmental footprint of U.S. households who had "weathered divorce and remarriage shrank back to that of married households."

If researchers are looking to pin the environmental crisis on something, divorce is really the least of our worries.

Maureen Dempsey's picture

Activists: End Child Marriages

Posted by Maureen Dempsey on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 1:00pm

Half of all Yemeni girls are married by the age of 18. Nujood Ali (right), didn't really have a fighting chance at making it through her teens without a husband. By the age of 10, Nujood had, in fact, been married off — and divorced.

Nujood in one of a handful of landmark cases of child divorce in the Middle East. Fortunately, Saudi Arabian officials and child advocates are looking to end child marriages before there's ever a need for a dissolution.

The Associated Press has reported that the Saudi government is putting pressure on families to hold off on adolescent unions and arranged marriages, such as one 11-year-old boy who was passing out wedding invitations in class (he's to marry his 10-year-old cousin), the article describes, as a young boy would do with birthday party planning.

The Human Rights Commission has stepped in to aide the minors, and, along with clerics who also oppose the marriages, is urging Saudi government to pass legislation setting the minimum age for marriage.

No one can deny that this is a much larger issue than a "way of life." There are politics, religion, and money at stake, as well as a perspective that Western cultures will never have the capacity to understand. Fortunately, there is someone who is chipping away at the rules, the traditions, and most importantly, the inequality.

Jill Brooke's picture

Pam Shriver, Bond Girl No Longer

Posted by Jill Brooke on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 8:32am

Tennis star Pam Shriver is taking a passing shot at her husband, former James Bond star George Lazenby. Shriver has filed for divorce this week in California citing "irreconcilable differences" and asking for full custody of the children, with supervised visits for Lazenby.

The couple, who were married six years ago, have three children: George Jr. who was born in 2004 and the twins, Kate and Sam, who were born in 2002. She is also the stepmother to Lazenby's older daughter, Melanie.

Shriver, 46, won 22 Grand Slam doubles titles, 20 with Martina Navratilova, and has worked as a tennis commentator for CBS, ABC, and other sports outlets since retiring. She has also mentored Venus Williams. She became a member of the Tennis Hall of Fame in 2002.

Lazenby, 68, is best known for staring in the Bond film "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," and was the first actor who wasn't British to play 007. Lazenby was born in Australia.

Both reside in California.

Maureen Dempsey's picture

No Chinese Divorces Permitted 8/8/08

Posted by Maureen Dempsey on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 12:55pm

China. Always been a stickler for rules, regulations, keeping its citizens in line. Now it's barring divorces? Well, sort of.

Due to the tsunami of marriage applications hitting the civil affairs bureau of Zhengzhou, Henan Province, for 8/8/08, divorce applications have been suspended for the day, reports web site china.org.cn. Other cities around the country have suspended divorce proceedings, as well.

In addition to the throngs of couples hoping to pick up a little extra luck by tying the knot on the triple-eight date ("Eight is the most auspicious number among Chinese people, who believe it brings fortune and happiness," says the article), August 8th is also the opening day of the Olympic ceremonies.

The obsession with the nuptial date is an international one; from Asia to the U.S. to Eastern Europe. Moscow has also reported a spike in 8/8/08 nuptial planning, according to international news web site dawn.com.

But there's also a rise in divorces from last year's 7/7/07 marriage boom: A Moscow city official said up to a quarter of those who married on July 7th last year had already divorced. Maybe not so lucky, after all?

The man who abducted his seven-year-old daughter in Boston last month was arrested in Baltimore over the weekend, and the girl was returned to her mother. On Tuesday the father was charged in a Boston court with felony parental kidnapping, assault and battery. He was held without bail.

And then the mysteries deepened.

Who is "Clark Rockefeller"? Could he be wanted in California under another name? Is he, as he presented himself, a secret agent? Or is he, as investigators believe, a former German exchange student? 

Another question: How could his ex-wife, Sandra Boss, a high-powered executive at the London office of McKinsey & Co., be deceived by such a shady character? Actually, any woman who has ever been wooed by a psychopath will know the answer to that one.

The London papers reported that Boss, who made more than $1 million a year, paid "Rockefeller" $1.5 million last year in exchange for exclusive custody of their daughter, Reigh.

The sticking point for shared custody, Boss said, was that she wanted to see "Clark Rockefeller's" valid birth certificate, and to know, finally, who her husband of 12 years really was.

He refused to reveal his identity, took the money, and began plotting their daughter's abduction, including buying an apartment in Baltimore under another assumed name.

She, finally sure that he wasn't a Rockefeller, changed their daughter's last name to Boss.

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Maureen Dempsey's picture

Evangelist Bynum Headed to Jail?

Posted by Maureen Dempsey on Tue, 08/05/2008 - 9:21pm

Evangelist Juanita Bynum made headlines again this week, as her ex's attorney claims she has yet to hand over $10K due to his client, reports The Atlanta Constitution-Journal. The lump sum is only the first of four installments that are due to ex Bishop Thomas W. Weeks III to pay his legal fees accrued during the divorce.

To refresh your memory, Weeks did not pursue spousal support from his ex-wife, with whom he built the Global Destiny Church, in their tangled divorce proceedings; he did, however, ask that she cover his $40K legal bill.

Bynum isn't heading to prison just quite yet; Bishop's attorney has threatened possible jail time or a fine for missing a July 8th deadline to turn over the money.

Also coming Bishop's way? A Land Rover, which Bynum has yet to relinquish. But just as Weeks taketh, he giveth: He has also ordered that Bynum remove some items from their home, as well, including assorted antiques, a sculpture, and a harp. Guess the harp doesn't really scream "bachelor pad"...

If there's anything these settlements reveal, it's the odds and ends that celebrities value (heavy emphasis on the "odd"). Lest we forget David Hasselhoff's victorious claim over the antique barber chair, while his ex claimed the Michael Jackson photograph.

Jill Brooke's picture

Is Truce Better Than Friction? Not Always

Posted by Jill Brooke on Tue, 08/05/2008 - 10:51am

You’ve seen them at dinner, the couples whose fighting escalates to shouting matches or those who close their eyes into slits, purse their lips and fire off sarcastic put downs at their mates over their Chardonnay or Coors Light.

They seem like they’re heading for divorce.

Not necessarily. Some people fight and like it.

John Gottman, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, says there are three types of fighters:

• The ones who validate the other person’s experience and work it out together. (“I understand why you spent the rent money on a motorcycle for your mid-life crisis.”)

• The ones who fight vocally. (“You middle-aged, mindless jerk! How could you?”)

• The ones who agree to disagree. (“Ok, I guess I’ll have to figure out another way to pay the rent.”)

As long as the verbal fighters understand each other and aren’t bothered by it, they can stay together. Husband and wife know it’s a way to let off steam and so they manage their expectations.

In a study, Gottman discovered that couples argue about the same issues 69 percent of the time. As reported in “Psychology Today,” his long-term study of 670 couples showed that couples don’t actually resolve their problems, but learn to live with them.

Should they change partners, they’ll just get a different set of unresolved issues.

So what’s the key to happiness? “Establish a dialogue with the problems, learning to live with them much the same way someone learns to live with a bad back," he says.

The trick is to acknowledge your partner’s limitations.

Uh-huh. That’s not hard.

Gottman, however, also pointed out that the positive interactions in your relationship have to outweigh the negative arguments five-to-one.

Otherwise the couple won’t last until their silver anniversary, or even their fifth.