She was beautiful, and had a 5 year old daughter with her husband, the actor Danny Huston. She committed suicide this month before their divorce was even final, but the divorce did not “cause” her suicide. What caused it was bipolar disorder.

Katie Jane Evans, 35, was a born and bred English beauty, and her husband, 46, was the illegitimate son of the director John Huston and the English actress Zoe Sallis. They married in 2002, and moved to a house in the Hollywood Hills, in California, while Huston appeared in movies like How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. They visited Huston’s half sister, the actress Anjelica Huston. She was friends with the aristocratic Emma Parker Bowles, who also lived in LA.

Life seemed glamorous and exciting. Then things turned bitter.

The divorce proceedings, which she filed in California last year, were fraught with charges and countercharges. He used drugs. She tried to commit suicide with pain killers and alcohol, and had gone into rehab. He wasn’t capable of caring for their child. She wasn’t capable of caring for their child. She told Huston’s talent agent that she was bipolar, and had hidden that from her husband for their entire marriage.

Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness also called manic depression; people with a severe form live chaotic lives on the edge, take risks, have periods of exhilaration and wild creativity, followed by deep depressions. Some 20 percent of the most seriously afflicted commit suicide.

Despite the acrimony, the terms of the divorce were settled amicably: Huston gave her their Hollywood Hills house and $17,500 a month, half his income, and they agreed on shared custody of their daughter, Stella.

But, her friends said, she went into a deep depression over the end of her marriage.

When you get divorced, you quickly learn who are your friends and who are your frenemies. Madonna must be smiling because Gwyneth Paltrow and Trudie Styler are publicly rallying behind their pop star pal.

And let’s face it, when you are emotionally raw, you need faithful friends to vent to, even if you are a superstar.

Paltrow, who is married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin, sounds like she is giving the cold shoulder to Madonna’s soon-to-be ex, filmmaker Guy Ritchie. “I'm supporting her in all the ways that I can,” says Paltrow. “I'm just there for her. I speak to her a lot.”

Paltrow spoke about their friendship at the premiere of her film “Two Lovers” at the London Film Festival. She, like Madonna, lives part time in London.

Producer Trudie Styler, who is married to Sting, and is responsible for introducing Madonna to Ritchie 10 years ago, confirmed that their relationship had been in turmoil for quite a while.

“I love them both,” she told Access Hollywood with the diplomacy of a U.N. ambassador. “Obviously they’ve been struggling for a while. They're both dear friends of mine and all good things sometimes come to an end.”

And then she added, “I think they're destined to become great pals.”

Every divorced woman can’t help but monitor who is in her camp and who is in her ex’s camp. Although conventional wisdom says that a friend shouldn’t be asked to choose sides, it is very hard for someone getting divorced to share their innermost thoughts, knowing that you could be talking to a spy. Friends get divided into categories.

Some are cashmere. Some are wool. Some are polyester.

Of course it’s a gimmick, but it got our attention. If you’re divorced, and headed for marriage No. 2, you probably don’t want to go through the whole formal wedding deal a second time, nor do you want to pay for it.

Now comes “Elope for Obama.”

For all weddings in October, the Brooks Hill Historic Church in Portland, Oregon, will donate the entire rental fee to the Obama presidential campaign. In fact, you’re told to make a check out to Obama for Change.

You can have up to 50 guests. The nondenominational church is on a hillside 20 minutes from downtown Portland. You can choose from any wedding on their website, with rentals from $395 for an intimate two-hour wedding to $695 for a four-hour wedding. Use of the baby grand is included. Local ministers, usually $200 to $300, will pronounce the vows (religious or secular), also at no charge, in support of Barack Obama. Or you can bring your own minister. Everything, of course is subject to availability. And you need to be in Oregon four business days in advance to get your license. Other than that, party on!

What can we say... Portland is that liberal a place. Cindy Lou Banks, the owner of the church, feels that Obama, if elected, would bring a new beginning to the country, and said, “What better way is there for couples to support his election than eloping in October and forging their own new beginnings?"

How does Banks make money from this? Volume!

Oh, and if you reserve the chapel ($150 deposit) and don’t show up for the wedding, they keep your deposit.

We will now give equal time to any lawyer offering a free divorce in honor of John McCain.

A recent poll of church-going Catholics in England and Wales found that the majority believed a couple should separate or divorce if they are not happy or compatible.

Nonetheless, last Sunday the Pope, speaking in in Lourdes, emphasized his disapproval of “irregular unions,” which is to say Catholics who divorce and remarry without getting a church annulment.

"Initiatives aimed at blessing irregular unions cannot be admitted," he told the French bishops. The Catholic church holds that marriage is irrevocable and indissoluble because, the Pope said; that’s the way it was instituted by Christ.

Catholics who remarry after divorcing their spouses will not be allowed to receive communion unless the second marriages are unconsummated.

Yes, that’s right. The Catholic church is not against remarriage. The church that reveres the Holy Virgin Mary is against sex.

As Benedict put it last year when he was explaining the church’s views, Catholics cannot receive communion if they remarry because then they would be committing adultery.

The Church, he said, "encourages these members of the faithful to commit themselves to living their relationship ... as friends, as brother and sister."

Now that kind of defeats the whole idea of the honeymoon, doesn’t it?

We hope these kinds of rulings don’t make the difficulty of divorce even harder for some to take. For simplified information on annulment in the Catholic Church, go here.

It's an image we've seen far too often lately: The supportive wife standing beside her man, doing her best to remain stoic while he reveals his extramarital blunders to the entire nation.

The media's response seems to follow a strict pattern. First, there is speculation ("Will Clinton be impeached?"), followed by the questions ("Who was McGreevy's lover?"), and finally, a healthy dose of political spin ("Senator Craig wasn't soliciting sex, he just needed some toilet paper").

Only after all the dust has finally settled does the media's eye turn to the most obvious victim: Yes, the supportive wife in the smart pantsuit, still standing beside her man.

So how does the media handle "the wife"? Much the same way it handled the husband — even though she wasn't the one cavorting around with interns and prostitutes (both male and female).

Take Silda Spitzer. Fox News speculated on whether she would leave her husband or not. The Washington Post questioned her choice to stand by Eliot's side during his announcement. By the time the spin came, Silda was all but forgotten - the "other woman" was discovered on myspace, and the whole cycle repeated itself again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Forget about those Santa Ana winds. Oscar's embers blew directly into Ann Blanchard's house Tuesday night as Hollywood honchos, TV execs, first and second wives, along with various and sundry well-wishers gathered for a reading of Mimi Schmir's fictional and hilarious "Hot Flashes" blog...

The confab, masterminded by the former William Morris überagent who's now with Mosaic Media, drew Hollywood's finest TV and film actresses who read selections from the blog which chronicles the rollercoaster antics of Schmir's heroine, Esme, a late 40s-ish divorced mother of two. While I wasn't in Ann's parlor experiencing the "Hot Flashes," faux and for-real, firstwivesworld.com's intrepid correspondent reports the evening was a scorcher. Yes, HOT or you know, HOT!

Actresses Amy Brenneman ("Private Practice" and "Judging Amy"); Dana Delany ("Desperate Housewives"); Kathyrn Morris ("Cold Case"); and Natasha Henstridge ("Commander-in-Chief") each morphed into Esme as they read portions of the edgy blog that began on firstwivesworld.com. And they say there aren't any good parts for women?? Huh?!

Schmir, a writer for TV hits "Grey's Anatomy" and "Shark," was feted for her fiesty and comedic portrayal of the daily exploits of a pre-menopausal late 40s mom who's trying to move on with her life after a divorce in which her husband leaves her for a younger model (surprise, surprise). "Hot Flashes" just may be the next "Starter Wife" but there's a difference: "Hot Flashes" started on firstwivesworld.com, yes, the Web baby, and is destined for episodic television.

Oscar's afterglow may be fading but man-oh-man is it gettin' hot in here or what? Nah... it's just those damn "Hot Flashes"! Yeah, baby...

What, you say, am I talking about? Well, it's a reading of Mimi Schmir's fictional blog "Hot Flashes" that's getting firstwivesworld.com all hot and bothered. Mimi (pictured here) and a whole bunch of first, and most likely second wives will gather Tuesday night in Los Angeles to hear actresses Dana Delaney (ABC's "Desperate Housewives"), Amy Brenneman (ABC's "Private Practice"), Natasha Henstridge ("Dirty, Sexy Money") and Kathryn Morris (CBS' "Cold Case") read selections from the blog.

The reading, presented by First Wives World Productions along with the fabulous, Ann Blanchard, will feature the renowned actresses channeling the adventures of "Esme," Mimi's alter-ego, as she goes through a variety of pitfalls, hilarious escapades and twisted sexcapades. "Hot Flashes" appears once a week on firstwivesworld.com. Mimi also wrote for ABC's hit series "Grey's Anatomy".

There are more fictional series and episodic Webisodes planned on firstwivesworld.com. Now how's that for hot...?

"Me & You, Us Forever," is an indie film about a love story that was 30 years in the making. It's the story of Dave, a 47-year-old Christian man, who's on the unwanted end of a divorce.

The movie follows Dave through the process of his painful divorce and his dive back into the dating scene. Unsure of how to get back out there, he finds himself longing to see his first love, Mary, who he hasn't seen in 30 years.

Against the advice of his co-workers and much to the chagrin of his potential girlfriend Carla, who he met at a Christian Divorce Recovery Group, Dave goes see Mary who's now married with children and living in New York. Dave and Mary fell in love as high school sweethearts and he's always wondered what happened to her.

The film is set in 2004 and flashes back to 1974. The viewer sees the relationship through Dave's eyes and how things ended with Mary.

I think anytime that we've had love and lost it — through any circumstances — it always creates a potential for us to go back and examine all of our past relationships, as well as the current one. Although I haven't seen it, I think this movie appears to offer an excellent portrayal of process in which we re-examine previous relationships, perhaps measuring them against our current one.

To read more about "Me & You, Us, Forever," you can visit the film's Website. You can view the trailer here. The film's writer, director and producer, Dave Christiano sums it up beautifully by saying "I believe we have a strong message and one that will help people. Everyone knows someone that's divorced, so I think this film will touch a lot of people."

So here's a question for those of you who've been through a divorce: How did things go the first time you got intimate with some else?

I'm sure we can all have a long conversation about that topic. I saw a letter to a sex columnist that raised this issue, and it was interesting to me because it came from the male perspective. The writer was a 35-year-old divorced "bloke" (it was in a British publication) who said his girlfriend left him because he couldn't keep an erection. For the moment, we'll look past the fact that this must not have been much of a relationship if that was really the reason she left him. The guy is wondering if the remaining emotional weight of his divorce is somehow making it tough on him in bed.

And that's something a lot of divorced people probably face. It's not uncommon at all. A lot of sexual dysfunctions, especially in younger people like this guy, have more to do with the mind than they do with the body. If something like this happens and it's a consistent problem, it's probably worth taking to a therapist who specializes in sexual matters. It goes without saying that making such an appointment for yourself is a daunting step, especially if you're doing it alone. But a divorce can impact your mind in so many ways that you're not consciously aware of. A little help with a problem like this isn't too much for anyone to ask.

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It seems Japanese businessmen are getting serious about saving their marriages. CNN did an entertaining report on an organization called the National Chauvinistic Husbands Association, which, despite the way that name sounds, pushes men to be better husbands. There's probably a little something lost in translation with that name, but what they advocate seems pretty clear. Basically, they tell the guys to be more attentive and practice the "three golden rules of love." You're dying to know, so here they are:

• Say thank you without hesitation.
• Say I'm sorry without fear.
• Say I love you without embarrassment.

What's interesting is that there may be one particular factor motivating all of this good husbanding: pension money. Japan enacted a law this year that entitles a woman to claim half of her husband's pension in a divorce.

Let the courtesy and chivalry begin!

The number of divorce cases has risen in Japan, but it's still nowhere even close to what we have here in the U.S. I'd like to think that guys don't need a point-by-point lesson plan in what amounts to basic sensitivity. But that's wishful thinking, isn't it? We all know they do. And there are probably a lot of long-held cultural standards in Japan that keep the guys from having a sense of what to do. So we should all give a big thumb's up to the Chauvinistic Husbands Association!

Put that on the top of the list of things I never thought I'd hear myself say.

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