I’ve been a Sixties girl all my life. I started out as an artsy teen- about-town at Parsons School of Design during the actual era, and quickly adopted the bangs and straight hair look I’ve had ever since. Nothing makes me happier than tights and flats, eyeliner and beige lipstick, and of course minis (the skirts and Coopers) and bangs.

As an adult woman, my long eye-grazing fringe has evolved from being my security blanket to my signature; but what I love most now are the camouflage benefits. So do a long list of my girlfriends aged 40+ who also vow never to let their bangs grow out. The group consensus is if we never do Botox again, no one will ever know.

Bangs accent your eyes and do make you look younger. They dress up your face when the rest of your hair is back in a ponytail and hide bad skimpy eyebrows too (so cross that off your worry list too!).

Bangs with a slightly layered bob are actually a very classic Coco Chanel kind of look. They happen to be the hottest hair trend at every age with fans ranging from Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour to Katie Holmes. Bangs look equally great on mothers and daughters like Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson.

Some men (including all of my exes) do this ‘brushing-the-hair-out-of-your-eyes’ gesture that is so annoying to women with a fringe. My husband Robert, on the other hand, panics if I pull my bangs back with a hairband during humid frizzy weather.

“Where are your bangs? I love those bangs! I married you for those bangs!” is his opening line on those mornings.

In the early days of our relationship I found beach holidays and showering together a little inhibiting because of this, but now I just laugh.

A night out with the girls is heaven, especially when you’re divorced and your chums are too. A glass of Sancerre or Diet Coke Plus and the honest exchange of beauty advice and gossip make Sex and the City seem tame. It’s the best time to dish over frenemies’ affairs, the diet-of-the-month, and whether boyfriend jeans flatter anyone over forty.

It’s the moment too for confessing your beauty sins to those who understand: like my friend Cheryl’s new Restylane pout (credited to “an amazing plumping gloss”), or Suzie’s Fraxel-smoothed face (“I gave up caffeine and sugar”), or Nan’s Sculptra cheekbones
(“I finally found the best facialist”). Naturally the cone of silence over that evening’s conversation means we will never discuss these topics again, especially with other people.

It’s not just the admission of getting a little medical help anymore.

Right now, when we’re worried about school tuition, mortgage payments, and healthcare, indulging in pricey dermatological procedures can bring on a guilt attack if addressed in public. Buying luxury skincare or splurging on a spa vacation can inspire the same discomfort as selling your grandmother’s silver.

Beauty is comfort food for women. The so-called “lipstick effect” cited by economists once again highlights the trend for us to buy small feel-good items like lipstick during times of crisis.

Divorced women are facing fierce competition in the workplace to protect their jobs, and even tougher challenges to get new ones if they’ve been restructured out of a position. The bar has been raised when it comes to the term “beauty boost.”

Sometimes a lipstick isn’t enough, so it’s important to stay non-judgmental if you (or a friend) think an eye-job or Botox are going to add that kick of confidence. But sometimes a new lipstick is truly all you need.

Will we ever outgrow the 70s… or pimples, for that matter? A renewed love of platform shoes, wide-leg jeans, and vintage Pucci makes me yearn for a Corvette. Grown-up blemishes don’t provide the same cozy feeling of déjà vu.

I’ll blame it on hormones again because I can. The balance between my declining female estrogen and stay-put androgen is fluctuating like crazy. I’m holding them accountable for mood swings, a slowdown in cell turnover, and trapped oil and debris in my pores. Toss in lots of stress, too much experimentation with ultra-rich de-aging creams (I do a lot of this!), and what did I expect? Experts say stress alone won’t make you break out, but since cortisol secreted by the adrenals in response to stress also stimulates sebum production, it certainly isn’t helping.

Selective OTC skincare works well for occasional breakouts. But if your blemishes increase in frequency or intensity, see a dermatologist who can evaluate and prescribe treatment.

Adult acne has become so common that products designed for this demo are nudging their teenage counterparts off the shelves. Be careful. Our skin is thinner, more sensitive, and we’re dealing with moisture and collagen loss along with textural changes. Avoid piggybacking too many blemish-blasters at once — some skins can only tolerate one or two of the suggestions below.

Try my OTC detox picks and yes you can have your dark chocolate fix. Top dermatologists like Dr. Fredric Brandt say it does not cause acne (!) and some say the antioxidants even help:

• Switch to a mild face wash like Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser ($7.99), especially if your skin is sensitive. Or choose a glycolic or salicylic acid cleanser to slough dull flaky skin and remove dead cells. I currently like Aveeno Active Naturals Clear Complexion Cream Cleanser with salicylic acid, soy, and gentle microbeads ($7.99).

Dashing out of the Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa & Salon on Fifth Avenue, I ran smack into an old boyfriend and his wife.

The last time he saw me was seven years ago. At that time I was very brunette, extremely angry, and in the midst of tossing him out of my life. My pop-up appearance as a sunny blonde glamazon (freshly highlighted and blown-out that morning) was worth every minute in foils and bleach.

Going blonde was the best beauty move I’ve ever made, thanks to my colorist and guru Brad Johns. Oh yeah, I was still confident, clever, and ballsy back in what I refer to as “The Dark Ages,” but Brad saw the beachy surfer girl beneath and was the catalyst I needed to take a leap out of my comfort zone.

Aside from never having to look at another picture of Christie Brinkley with hair envy, I discovered the cosmetic advantages of being blonde went far beyond my expectations. My skintone took on a peaches-and-cream warmth, dark undereye circles and lines were less obvious, and I began to need less foundation and concealer. My hair looks and feels ten times thicker (color does add texture and bulk to the hair shaft) and is healthier than ever, mainly because I treat it like a couture silk dress instead of a cotton tee.

If you’re thinking about making an extreme color change like I did, go to a pro! A drastic color transformation from dark to light requires much skill and knowledge of the tricky pigmentation process. Getting rid of the stubborn orange and red undertones and avoiding breakage are major concerns that a novice cannot address. At-home color is great if you want to stay within your natural shade and just bump it up a bit by going a notch brighter or lighter, while covering greys. But if you’re thinking blonde follow these tips:

Recently I attended a wedding where the bride was 30, the groom 55 and two days later, a celebratory divorce lunch for a girlfriend who is 54 and dating a guy who is 37. Neither hook-up is shocking anymore, but this is: You’d have sworn these women were the same age.

Both are smart glammy brunettes who resemble Eva Longoria Parker. The bride is a lovely first-timer with no baggage. My divorced friend (let’s call her “A”) is currently dealing with unexpected job loss, six pounds of menopausal weight gain, and the major downsizing and relocation of her entire life.

Six months ago “A” made a conscious decision to use all this adversity to fuel one of the best makeovers I’ve ever seen. Looking good is clearly the best revenge as divorcees Tory Burch, Christie Brinkley and Ellen Barkin demonstrate.

“A” looks better now than at twenty (and yes, a little dermatological intervention helped). She says starting over calls for “ruthless assessment of your appearance and no looking back.”

Remember this: you are not alone in the universe. As our economic crisis causes jittery shoppers to pull back on the plastic, women are pickier than ever about what they buy (when and if). My own mantra is “ You are not the CEO of a luxury conglomerate,” which I chant as I bypass insanely–priced designer clothes and wrinkle creams, must-have “IT” bags, and boots that cost the same as a good used car.

One of my best friends (divorced but dating the same guy for three years) wears the same size I do and we now trade back and forth big-ticket items from our past inventory. We ran into each other on the street last week — she was wearing “my” Prada dress (2001) and I was carting “her” vintage Gucci Jackie O bag. Both of us were wearing “old” shoes we’d had re-heeled and platformed for a chunkier, more current look.

Recently I had a group of mostly divorced girlfriends over for a clothes swap. Everyone brought items they’d bought but didn’t wear for one reason or another. No money changed hands and it was a huge success, so I suggest you borrow the idea and start your own style club ASAP. One woman’s cast-offs are another’s finds, and this is far better than random consignment shopping.

Just checking out the way stylists put clothes together in store displays, magazine layouts, or on designer runway show websites gets your creativity going. It feels liberating and sneaky in a fun way to shop your closet and those of your friends without spending a dime. Don’t be afraid to tweak proportions at your local tailor and cobbler either. I just had a totally retro pantsuit “shrunken” to leaner proportions, the pants slimmed and ankle cropped, the jacket refitted — and plan on wearing it with a 70’s Betsey Johnson Fair Isle knit vest.

Here are five practical, cheap, and chic ways to get your clothes off life-support and back on-trend overnight. And they’re all free:

When I was in my early thirties, newly divorced and dating, well-intentioned friends insisted on scheduling our girly get-togethers near Bloomingdales for a “bite of shopping.” When I was newly divorced (again!) in my mid-forties we’d meet for lunch in Barneys.

The obvious plan in both decades was to get me out of my beloved basic black, and into “something with a little more sex appeal — maybe red or pink, maybe a neckline lower than your collarbone” as my friend Julie put it.

Truth is, I loved the sophistication and attitude of wearing black — it has that whole French fashion thing going for it. Black turtlenecks, slim black trousers, and nearly black nail polish made me feel sophisticated and cool… the way colors never did.

Well here’s a news flash: Somewhere around 50 — right before I met my husband Robert — I began to prefer beige. Beige everything, from pencil skirts to tailored coats to shimmery beige pedicures. My girlfriends worried I was going through a peri-menopause stage of “the blahs.” After all, Lauren Hutton herself once told me in an interview that “wearing beige after 50 makes you invisible.”

I see it differently now and so do designers like Versace, Michael Kors, Valentino, Calvin Klein and Armani, who understand “nude” is the sexiest color alive. Beige, in all its variations from champagne to camel, is glamorous and classy, no matter what color your skintone. Worn head to toe, monochromatic, tone-on-tone, it says luxurious.

So if you’re bored with black, out there looking, or just want to stand out in the crowd — head straight for these beige-y beauties:

Last week, I had my makeup done for the Skin Cancer Foundation Gala where I was a guest of honor and speaker.

Sitting robed and restless in a N.Y.C. salon two hours before the event, I worked on putting the final touches on my speech and my face in the hands of a staff makeup artist (difficult for a control freak like me but I needed rehearsal time ). She asked what look I wanted. “Bigger more dramatic eyes that would connect with the audience from the stage but not smudge if I got a little teary.”

When I finally looked up and into the mirror, my eyes were smoky and huge, highlighted with gold and fringed with individual fake lashes -- perfect for the over-the-top mood of a black tie party, but just not me. I did a quick fix in the ladies’ room, taking it down a notch with Q-tips and powder, pulled off the falsies, and had a great time.

Most women know that a well-done, clean eye makeup enhances their looks and their communication skills. Check out the current makeup of news anchors and women in the political arena -- eye makeup, not lips, are the focal point of the face.

Neutral shades work for everyone, are hard to overdo, and convey confidence whether you’re wrangling a settlement in divorce court, nailing that final bid for a new condo, or attending your college reunion. Experimenting beyond your comfort zone keeps you looking modern and contemporary but it does not have to be complicated.

Rethink and refresh your basics with one or all of these eye makeup changes. They’re easy and get the balance of news and flattery just right.

1. Get a Neutral Shimmer Eyeshadow

Hey, I know it’s not quite October, but the Farmers Almanac predicts a wet, cold winter, and I like to be prepared.

Every woman I talk to is questioning whether a new winter coat is even on her to-buy list now. This is partly due to fashion’s emphasis on layering, which happens to add warmth in addition to style, our communal dislike of big, bulky (read fattening ) puffers, and daily reports on global warming plus a tanking economy.

Frugality is “in” whether you have a corner office, worker-bee cubicle, or a desk and computer stashed in your bedroom. Funny how quickly coat designers learned from last year’s forced markdowns and clogged sales stock to rethink the entire category.

This year’s trenchcoats, those sexy-but-sensible staples (they also never go out of style) are hitting store racks in droves. What started out as a military item has shaped up to be a fashion icon — and nearly every brand is counting on its appeal to revive coat purchases.

Let’s be realistic: For truly hideous weather — treks through snow and storm — those down coats in the backs of our closets are always welcome, but trenches have an offhand glamour that’s irresistible. Trench legends like Audrey and Katharine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe and Marlene Dietrich are part of the allure, but every front-row chic-ette from Carla Bruni to Catherine Deneuve have been spotted recently in one. They work easily over trousers and pencil skirts, sheath dresses with heels, or jeans with boots — and every brand and designer has a trench in their lineup this season.

Get the double-breasted, notch collar style, and knot the belt bathrobe-style at the waist for definition, even if it has a buckle! The evolution of style has made some changes, a more fitted silhouette, a higher armhole, and leaner shoulder (even those that have epaulettes).

The number of new beauty products being marketed to adult women is now over 100,000 a year and growing steadily — with a definite upwards price boost at every level.

Sometimes it seems as if researchers and scientists behind the scenes must be working 24/7 to develop new technologies and hotter ingredients-of-the-minute, since updated products hit the shelves daily.

Friends and readers ask me about the efficacy of products from drugstores vs. department and specialty stores. They question whether an expensive cream with megastar packaging is definitely worth the splurge.

Right now I’m feeing a big push-back in the air, as everyday lifestyles and the cost of essentials like housing, education, and childcare are genuine concerns for a lot of divorced women. How many times have you been seduced into buying a skin cream or serum that proved unworthy of its promise whether it cost $17 or $70 or $300?

Unfortunately we’ve seen the cost of many at-home anti-aging treatments climb so high they compete with in-office dermatological procedures. As a beauty editor and consultant I evaluate thousands of products each year, so when I come across amazing finds that slide in under $30 and do the job just as well or better than those costing ten times as much, I’m thrilled to share.

In this economy, every bit helps.

Here are five that won’t disappoint and are available at mass retailers and drugstores (all prices are approximate and may vary slightly depending on timing and point of sale):

• L’ Oreal Paris Age Perfect Pro-Calcium Day Cream SPF 15 ($19) Strengthens and plumps up thin, fragile skin with soy proteins, calcium, and marine collagen — just like reupholstering restores a favorite but flabby sofa gone flat and soft.