I’ve been a Sixties girl all my life. I started out as an artsy teen- about-town at Parsons School of Design during the actual era, and quickly adopted the bangs and straight hair look I’ve had ever since. Nothing makes me happier than tights and flats, eyeliner and beige lipstick, and of course minis (the skirts and Coopers) and bangs.

As an adult woman, my long eye-grazing fringe has evolved from being my security blanket to my signature; but what I love most now are the camouflage benefits. So do a long list of my girlfriends aged 40+ who also vow never to let their bangs grow out. The group consensus is if we never do Botox again, no one will ever know.

Bangs accent your eyes and do make you look younger. They dress up your face when the rest of your hair is back in a ponytail and hide bad skimpy eyebrows too (so cross that off your worry list too!).

Bangs with a slightly layered bob are actually a very classic Coco Chanel kind of look. They happen to be the hottest hair trend at every age with fans ranging from Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour to Katie Holmes. Bangs look equally great on mothers and daughters like Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson.

Some men (including all of my exes) do this ‘brushing-the-hair-out-of-your-eyes’ gesture that is so annoying to women with a fringe. My husband Robert, on the other hand, panics if I pull my bangs back with a hairband during humid frizzy weather.

“Where are your bangs? I love those bangs! I married you for those bangs!” is his opening line on those mornings.

In the early days of our relationship I found beach holidays and showering together a little inhibiting because of this, but now I just laugh.

A night out with the girls is heaven, especially when you’re divorced and your chums are too. A glass of Sancerre or Diet Coke Plus and the honest exchange of beauty advice and gossip make Sex and the City seem tame. It’s the best time to dish over frenemies’ affairs, the diet-of-the-month, and whether boyfriend jeans flatter anyone over forty.

It’s the moment too for confessing your beauty sins to those who understand: like my friend Cheryl’s new Restylane pout (credited to “an amazing plumping gloss”), or Suzie’s Fraxel-smoothed face (“I gave up caffeine and sugar”), or Nan’s Sculptra cheekbones
(“I finally found the best facialist”). Naturally the cone of silence over that evening’s conversation means we will never discuss these topics again, especially with other people.

It’s not just the admission of getting a little medical help anymore.

Right now, when we’re worried about school tuition, mortgage payments, and healthcare, indulging in pricey dermatological procedures can bring on a guilt attack if addressed in public. Buying luxury skincare or splurging on a spa vacation can inspire the same discomfort as selling your grandmother’s silver.

Beauty is comfort food for women. The so-called “lipstick effect” cited by economists once again highlights the trend for us to buy small feel-good items like lipstick during times of crisis.

Divorced women are facing fierce competition in the workplace to protect their jobs, and even tougher challenges to get new ones if they’ve been restructured out of a position. The bar has been raised when it comes to the term “beauty boost.”

Sometimes a lipstick isn’t enough, so it’s important to stay non-judgmental if you (or a friend) think an eye-job or Botox are going to add that kick of confidence. But sometimes a new lipstick is truly all you need.

Will we ever outgrow the 70s… or pimples, for that matter? A renewed love of platform shoes, wide-leg jeans, and vintage Pucci makes me yearn for a Corvette. Grown-up blemishes don’t provide the same cozy feeling of déjà vu.

I’ll blame it on hormones again because I can. The balance between my declining female estrogen and stay-put androgen is fluctuating like crazy. I’m holding them accountable for mood swings, a slowdown in cell turnover, and trapped oil and debris in my pores. Toss in lots of stress, too much experimentation with ultra-rich de-aging creams (I do a lot of this!), and what did I expect? Experts say stress alone won’t make you break out, but since cortisol secreted by the adrenals in response to stress also stimulates sebum production, it certainly isn’t helping.

Selective OTC skincare works well for occasional breakouts. But if your blemishes increase in frequency or intensity, see a dermatologist who can evaluate and prescribe treatment.

Adult acne has become so common that products designed for this demo are nudging their teenage counterparts off the shelves. Be careful. Our skin is thinner, more sensitive, and we’re dealing with moisture and collagen loss along with textural changes. Avoid piggybacking too many blemish-blasters at once — some skins can only tolerate one or two of the suggestions below.

Try my OTC detox picks and yes you can have your dark chocolate fix. Top dermatologists like Dr. Fredric Brandt say it does not cause acne (!) and some say the antioxidants even help:

• Switch to a mild face wash like Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser ($7.99), especially if your skin is sensitive. Or choose a glycolic or salicylic acid cleanser to slough dull flaky skin and remove dead cells. I currently like Aveeno Active Naturals Clear Complexion Cream Cleanser with salicylic acid, soy, and gentle microbeads ($7.99).

Domestic abuse does not have to be physical to be experienced as abuse. Abuse can include belittling a woman, keeping her on a very tight leash financially, limiting her movements outside of the house, filling the house with fear. A Canadian study found that 79 percent of marriages with serious abuse end in divorce.

The first step in dealing with abuse is recognizing it. But action must be taken. Here are some sources of information:

• National Domestic Abuse Hotline

• Domestic Abuse Awareness Handbook

• State Coalition List

• Domestic Abuse Shelters

• Domestic Abuse Victims Rights

Escaping Domestic Abuse:

If you or someone you know are living in an abusive relationship, and there is a chance of danger, the important thing is being ready and able to leave. Leaving isn’t an easy decision to make, I understand that. If you are decide to stay in a relationship, but think you might have to flee some day for safety’s sake, keep a survival kit ready.

Look up the addresses of the nearest women’s shelters or motels, so you know you will have a place to go. And make sure you have the following items with you:

• Money for cab fare

• A change of clothes

• Extra house and car keys

• Birth certificates

• Driver’s license or passport

• Medications and copies of prescriptions

• Insurance information

• Checkbook

• Credit cards

• Legal documents, including, if you have them, separation agreements and protection orders

• Address books

Dashing out of the Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa & Salon on Fifth Avenue, I ran smack into an old boyfriend and his wife.

The last time he saw me was seven years ago. At that time I was very brunette, extremely angry, and in the midst of tossing him out of my life. My pop-up appearance as a sunny blonde glamazon (freshly highlighted and blown-out that morning) was worth every minute in foils and bleach.

Going blonde was the best beauty move I’ve ever made, thanks to my colorist and guru Brad Johns. Oh yeah, I was still confident, clever, and ballsy back in what I refer to as “The Dark Ages,” but Brad saw the beachy surfer girl beneath and was the catalyst I needed to take a leap out of my comfort zone.

Aside from never having to look at another picture of Christie Brinkley with hair envy, I discovered the cosmetic advantages of being blonde went far beyond my expectations. My skintone took on a peaches-and-cream warmth, dark undereye circles and lines were less obvious, and I began to need less foundation and concealer. My hair looks and feels ten times thicker (color does add texture and bulk to the hair shaft) and is healthier than ever, mainly because I treat it like a couture silk dress instead of a cotton tee.

If you’re thinking about making an extreme color change like I did, go to a pro! A drastic color transformation from dark to light requires much skill and knowledge of the tricky pigmentation process. Getting rid of the stubborn orange and red undertones and avoiding breakage are major concerns that a novice cannot address. At-home color is great if you want to stay within your natural shade and just bump it up a bit by going a notch brighter or lighter, while covering greys. But if you’re thinking blonde follow these tips:

If you think you know of an abusive husband or partner, look over the questions below. Not all abuse involves hitting or threats of physical violence. Recognizing the warning signs and symptoms of domestic abuse is the first step in helping the abused.

Remember that someone who is scared, denied access to money, or put down is being abused as well. This may apply to you, your mother, your sister, a friend, your child.

The questions are courtesy of the National Coalition Against Domestic Abuse.

Does someone...

• Embarrass or make fun of her in front of her friends or family?

• Put down her accomplishments or goals?

• Make her feel like she is unable to make decisions?

• Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?

• Tell her that she is nothing without them?

• Treat her roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit her?

• Call her several times a night or show up to make sure she is where she said she would be?

• Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing her?

• Blame her for how he feels or acts?

• Pressure her sexually for things she isn’t ready for?

• Make her feel trapped, like there "is no way out" of the relationship?

• Prevent her from doing things she wants – like spending time with her friends or family?

• Try to keep her from leaving after a fight, or leave her somewhere after a fight to "teach her a lesson"?

Does she…

• Sometimes feel scared of how her partner will act?

• Constantly make excuses to other people for her partner's behavior?

• Believe that she can help her partner change if only she could change something about herself?

• Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make her partner angry?

Domestic abuse is about control and power, usually a man getting and keeping control and power over a woman. To simplify it, someone who commits domestic abuse is a control freak, and for the sake of argument, we are going to use the pronoun “he.” An abuser can’t feel good about himself unless he feels he is in total control of a woman and the relationship.

The abuser will use physical violence, threats of physical violence, isolation, yelling, screaming, and emotional, sexual or financial abuse to attempt to control his wife and in return control the relationship. He will leave both physical and emotional scars as he tried to remain in control and stave off the feeling of his wife being out of his control. And as the economy gets worse, and recession sets in, and jobs are lost, and income falls… the more an abuser takes out his feelings of helplessness on his wife.

Victims of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse happens to women of all ages, races and religions. Her economic or professional status is not an indicator of whether or not she will one day be a victim of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse occurs in the poorest neighbor and the priciest mansions.

Nearly 95 percent of domestic abuse victims are women. Over 50 percent of all women will experience domestic abuse in a love relationship and, for 24 to 30 percent of these women, the abuse happens regularly and over a long period.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Abuse, every 15 seconds a man or a woman becomes a victim of abuse. An abuser may seem gentle, loving, and kind to begin with. A woman might start a relationship thinking she had met her soul-mate, only to discover her mate had no soul at all.

Maybe it’s hormonal. I don’t know about you, but at 3 AM I’m wide-awake and e-mailing my friends who are also — boiing! — awake and shopping online.

Rumor has it that sleep-deprivation leads to weight gain, general crankiness, and an urge to splurge on expensive designer bags you’d never buy in the cold light of day. I doubt that’s true, but Madonna and Martha Stewart famously get by on almost no sleep — and they seem slim and on top of their game. But, yes, they are well put-together, come to think of it…

When I do finally doze-off, I’m still multi-tasking and de-aging with these four ingredients:

Prescriptives Good In Bed Restoring Night Moisturizer ($65 at prescriptives.com)

A super-charged hybrid hydrator/subtle self-tanner that smoothes with shea butter and vitamin E, you wake up looking like you’ve been on vacation for weeks.

Rogaine for Men ($29.99 at drugstore.com) dabbed on my skimpy outer eyebrows with a Q-tip

A top NYC dermatologist, Dr. Debra Jaliman, suggested this to me as a possible way to regrow my overplucked brows... and it works! (But ask your own dermatologist first before your try)

John Frieda Frizz-Ease Crème Serum Overnight Repair ($9.99 at your local drugstore)

Work a gumball-size glob through dry hair before bed to restore a silk texture. It won’t leave any residue on pillows or sheets and makes-over crispy fried hair by dawn.

Hanro long black cotton slip-style nightgown ($124 at saksfifthavenue.com)

Not long ago I wrote a blog post on my blog at Divorce Support.About.com. In it, I discussed ways to keep the family court system from gaining too much control over what happens in your divorce. I had a comment left that I found very enlightening and an apt description of how adversarial divorce has become. I'm going to use the comment here in hopes of making a point.

"Does divorce ever end? The answer, predictably, is "Yes," but not until you've reached the end of your patience, logic, optimism and reasonableness. Because, you see, that's exactly the point: The divorce wars have little to do with Mediation or Courts or even which spouse is the more childish of the two. It's about power and who can manage to stand on the log longer before toppling off, into the rushing water below.

If you really want to make it to the shore of singledom without finding yourself tossed into shark-infested waters, learn the art of endurance. Exercise until the sweat gushes from pores and glands you didn't know you had; take a Yoga class and learn discipline of the mind, spirit and body.

Build up your strength from within and get ready to stick to what you want like a barnacle to a shipwreck. After you've proven your tenacity, it won't matter whether it's a mediator or a lawyer assisting you on this voyage: You'll have set your course and now all you'll need to do is steer towards your goal."

I won't argue with anything in the above statement. If you have been through an adversarial divorce, you know from experience that it does boil down to who is the weakest, who has the most stamina, and who can hire the most expensive attorney.