Is hubby suddenly logging on to classmates.com and talking about the good old days when he was a high school basketball star? Perhaps he’s taking up running, or he’s running to the gym to work on his abs and pecs?

Is he donning black leather jackets instead of Brooks Brothers? Is he spending more time in the bathroom than you do, and using more products?

Hmmm. He may be going through a mid-life crisis, but more likely he's doing the hanky panky with someone else.

The American psychic Edward Cayce said that intuition is knowledge from an unknown source that is usually true. As we all know, a woman's intuition is usually spot-on — especially when it comes to whether her guy is straying. However, the desire to avoid divorce puts us in a state of denial.

But, girlfriends, better to know the truth. That way you can come from a position of power in confronting the problem and solving it. With your interests in mind, we asked Danine Manette, the author of Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity, what 15 signs to look for if you suspect your mate is making out with someone else.

1. Do his friends' wives give you a pitiful, sympathetic look without saying anything?

2. Does he work more overtime, but still never have any money?

3. Does your mate have some new activity that occurs on the same night every week, and to which you are not invited?

4. Does he answer you promptly when you ask where he's been or does he hesitate before replying?

5. Has he suddenly begun carrying gum or breath mints?

6. Is he experiencing a sudden unexplained interest in changing his hairstyle and general appearance?

7. Has he started leaving his cell phone in his car at night, “to charge”?

Domestic abuse does not have to be physical to be experienced as abuse. Abuse can include belittling a woman, keeping her on a very tight leash financially, limiting her movements outside of the house, filling the house with fear. A Canadian study found that 79 percent of marriages with serious abuse end in divorce.

The first step in dealing with abuse is recognizing it. But action must be taken. Here are some sources of information:

• National Domestic Abuse Hotline

• Domestic Abuse Awareness Handbook

• State Coalition List

• Domestic Abuse Shelters

• Domestic Abuse Victims Rights

Escaping Domestic Abuse:

If you or someone you know are living in an abusive relationship, and there is a chance of danger, the important thing is being ready and able to leave. Leaving isn’t an easy decision to make, I understand that. If you are decide to stay in a relationship, but think you might have to flee some day for safety’s sake, keep a survival kit ready.

Look up the addresses of the nearest women’s shelters or motels, so you know you will have a place to go. And make sure you have the following items with you:

• Money for cab fare

• A change of clothes

• Extra house and car keys

• Birth certificates

• Driver’s license or passport

• Medications and copies of prescriptions

• Insurance information

• Checkbook

• Credit cards

• Legal documents, including, if you have them, separation agreements and protection orders

• Address books

Domestic abuse is about control and power, usually a man getting and keeping control and power over a woman. To simplify it, someone who commits domestic abuse is a control freak, and for the sake of argument, we are going to use the pronoun “he.” An abuser can’t feel good about himself unless he feels he is in total control of a woman and the relationship.

The abuser will use physical violence, threats of physical violence, isolation, yelling, screaming, and emotional, sexual or financial abuse to attempt to control his wife and in return control the relationship. He will leave both physical and emotional scars as he tried to remain in control and stave off the feeling of his wife being out of his control. And as the economy gets worse, and recession sets in, and jobs are lost, and income falls… the more an abuser takes out his feelings of helplessness on his wife.

Victims of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse happens to women of all ages, races and religions. Her economic or professional status is not an indicator of whether or not she will one day be a victim of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse occurs in the poorest neighbor and the priciest mansions.

Nearly 95 percent of domestic abuse victims are women. Over 50 percent of all women will experience domestic abuse in a love relationship and, for 24 to 30 percent of these women, the abuse happens regularly and over a long period.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Abuse, every 15 seconds a man or a woman becomes a victim of abuse. An abuser may seem gentle, loving, and kind to begin with. A woman might start a relationship thinking she had met her soul-mate, only to discover her mate had no soul at all.

Life isn’t over after a divorce. It’s a new beginning. But women are worried about dating again, about their ex-husbands dating again, and about the shaky feeling that comes when the divorce process begins.

www.truemomconfessions.com has agreed to swap content with firstwivesworld.com every week. True Mom Confessions provides the questions, and we provide the advice.

True Mom Question:

I don't know the protocol on dating after divorce. I haven't had feelings for soon-to-be ex DH in a long time, so I feel like I'm ready to embark on the dating scene. Do I wait until the divorce is final (at least four more months)? How long before I introduce him to the kids? I am really scared about this situation. Will anybody want to date a single Mom?

First Wives World Answer:

Single moms date all the time, and find love again. It’s called reinvention and renewal and possibility. It all awaits you in the next chapter of your life. Look at Reese Witherspoon, even Angelina Jolie. They were single moms. Now you may think, “I’m not a movie star.” But you are. You have within you something that shines brightly and will be desirable to the right person. Since your divorce is going to be finalized in four months, however, why not wait? Use this time to embark on improving yourself, buying a new outfit for a first date, and becoming the best person you can be. As far as when to introduce someone to the kids, let’s wait until you find someone worthy. While there are no set rules, most experts say you shouldn’t introduce kids to anyone you haven’t dated for at least six months. You want them to have faith in the sturdiness and consistency of love. Life is long. A whole new future awaits you, and your children.

TMQ:

Here are some questions from firstwivesworld.com bloggers. I hope my responses will be helpful!

From Megan Thomas: Can you recommend some books to read for healing a relationship?

There are a number of great books I'd recommend on this topic. My friend Lisa Steadman wrote, It's a Breakup Not a Breakdown about moving on and changing your life after a relationship. I've also heard that Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher is an insightful and inspiring read. Or, if you want a light-hearted advice book, I contributed to You Can Keep The Damn China: And 824 Other Great Tips on Dealing with Divorce in which hundreds of divorcees share their experiences of splitting up and moving on.

From Julie Savard: Do you believe that "living apart/together" relationships are healthy ones? Do you think this type of relationship is a good option to keep love together and that separating households can resolve some of the conflicts cohabitation brings to a marriage?

Many couples have unconventional arrangements that work for them. I know a married couple who swear by living apart, saying that the space keeps their passion alive and let's them maintain their independence and self-expression. I also know a divorced couple who both claim that this set-up distanced them so much that they started to lead very separate and disconnected lives. The bottom line is that living with another person will be both challenging and rewarding. A fulfilling relationship will look different to different people; and I truly believe that 'healthy' is defined by how much the relationship is meeting the needs of both people involved.

Five years ago, one of my best friends got divorced. Her husband met another woman and left her and their two small boys. Heartbroken and alone, she and her kids moved in with my family while she tried to get her bearings. Oh, did I mention the jerk who left her was my brother?

Until then, I had never seen divorce up close and personal. Most of the people I knew were in seemingly healthy marriages. When my sister-in-law moved in, I honestly imagined that home-cooked meals, some pretty new clothes, a bedroom makeover in feminine florals and oodles of babysitting would get her right back up on her feet. After all, “she’d be better off without him after what he did to her.” She was smart, young and pretty. Why was she moping around? “Shake it off.” I thought. “Get over it and move on.”

But for months, she couldn’t eat, sleep or digest what was happening to her. Not only had she lost her husband, she had lost her home, her role as a stay-at-home mom and her confidence.

As the months passed, I grew impatient with her. I wanted her to face life with more courage. When she took a job with a local school district and moved into a new condo with my nephews, I thought, “Wow, it’s been almost a year. I hope she snaps out of this soon.” But now that I’m divorced, I finally understand how wrong I’d been all along.

Here are some of the stupid things I said, and things that people have said to me that serve no purpose to the newly broken-hearted:

1. “Get over it and move on!” I shamefully admit that I said this to people who were in the “first trimester” of the divorce process. As I’ve since learned, it takes time to adjust to divorce. “Getting over it” is a lot easier said than done. Divorce is not the common cold, the symptoms don’t clear up in a week or two.

Below, I've answered questions from firstwivesworld.com bloggers. You might find my responses applicable to your life and sign!

From Naomi Dunne: I've always wanted to find out my rising sign (ascendant) but the charts scare me. I'm terrified I'll get the time zone wrong or something and then screw the whole thing up. What's an easy way to find out my rising sign?

Dear Naomi,

First off your chart is nothing to be frightened of, after all it is a cosmic recipe of all the ingredients that have gone into creating YOU. Your rising sign is based on the time of birth because that is when a child interacts with the earth's enviroment for the first time. The rising sign or ascendant is the actual constellation that was on the horizon when a child takes its first breath.

With the computer is is very easy to find out your rising sign. If you go to any of the Websites that calculate charts, and usually they will do this for free, just enter your birth day, year, place, and time. Make the time as accurate as you can. You should be able to find it on your birth certificate or if not, you can contact your state capitol and it will be recorded on the "long form" of your birth certificate. Then press a button and you will see your rising sign, the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. The astrology program has corrected for all the necessary data in time changes, daylight savings time, standard time...or whatever the particulars are of your birth time..

Many times people ask me what sign is romantically compatible with their sign. They tell me they're not supposed to get along with Aries (or some other sign) but they've had relationships with Aries for years, am I wrong?

The "answer" lies in understanding your whole chart and for that you should get your chart read by a good astrologer. In terms of lust and romance, the sign that your Venus and Mars was in when you were born may hold some clues for happiness between the sheets, as well as in love. Or your moon sign may call out to another's moon and your emotions feel in sync. It's more complicated than just saying that Cancerians are a good match for you, or conversely that all relationships with Scorpio are bad matches. Self-knowledge is the key.

However, we live in a fast-paced society and people may not want to take the time to understand their whole chart. There's a simplified way to determine what signs work for you in terms of overall communication — that is, between the sheets, talking, dating or planning a life together.

Each astrological sign has an element — fire, earth, air and water. Signs of the same element speak the same language and their communication on all levels is usually easy and fun. So find your elemental buddies and see how it goes. The fire signs are Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. The earth signs are Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn. The air signs are Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, and the water signs are Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.

Below are some specific combos that mix the elements, but usually create highly-charged chemistry.

Top 10 Hot Matches:

1. Scorpio woman and Taurus man: These opposite powerhouses goose up the sexual temperature. Water and earth make everything grow.

On Valentine's Day, every woman of every age should be issued one tall, dark, handsome somebody to share long, loving looks and dinner over candlelight. Cold pizza in front of the TV isn't so bad, most of the time. That particular day though has the power to leave a single woman feeling hopeless and unloved — and cold pizza just doesn't cut it.

It seems everywhere I look lately I see red, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and lovely cards with pink hearts reminding me of the day set aside for honoring love. For me Valentine's Day brings to front all the romantic longings and yearnings I've kept tucked away in crimson colored recesses of my heart. Romantic longings and yearnings that can rise up like a title wave to overwhelm me.

But, then I remember that Valentine's Day is about LOVE. It is about love for ourselves, our friends, our family, those who have helped us, those who need our help and those who, by birth and friendship are our family.

Valentine's Day can also be a day of remembering situations worse than being alone. It is better to be ...

A woman alone than a woman whose husband belittles her.

A woman standing alone than a woman being dragged down by negative emotions.

A woman loving life than a woman who dreads each day spent in an unhappy marriage.

A woman who gives her heart to her work, her children, her friends and family or any good cause other than a husband who won't cherish the heart she has to give.

So, if you are alone this Valentine's Day don't spend the day pining away for a knight in shining armor or some tall, dark handsome someone to share loving looks and dinner over candle light. Don't spend the day brooding over what you wish you had but spend it celebrating the love you already have.