Which presidential candidate do you feel will best address the concerns and issues that affect divorced women the most?
Posted Monday, October 27, 2008 - 12:04am
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The De-Bloating Divorcee
(check out my blog every Wednesday and Saturday)
Posted to House Bloggers by Debbie Nigro on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 11:22am
OMG...even my hair follicles are swollen. I am typing this while eating left over sweet potatoes because I just read they can debloat you. I'll get to that in a moment.
First, I just want to announce that the only thing I will strangely be grateful for these next few days is early darkness.
Darkness makes bloated people look more attractive.
Allow me to point out there is a marked post-holiday difference between swollen divorced women and swollen married women.
That being, that married women usually have a matching swollen spouse.
Single divorced women feel swollen alone and have little desire to attempt to get dressed attractively and socialize with the opposite sex.
Bloating for us is a lonely sport.
Post-holiday emotional and physical exhaustion when you wing a holiday without a wingman usually leads at some point to thumbing lazily through women's magazines you've been meaning to read searching for tips to lose weight.
On page 23 of the December issue of First Magazine I found the sweet potato flat-belly connection.
It said, "Each of these tasty tubers contains 950 mg of potassium — nearly twice the amount in a banana.
This electrolyte enhances the kidneys ability to eliminate retained fluids, banishing bloat in as little as 24 hours.
Plus sweet potatoes' betaine clears fatty deposits from the liver, accelerating the organs breakdown of belly fat for fuel."
Okay, if they say so.
I must not have eaten enough of them during Thanksgiving dinner to offset the other 20 dishes.
The ones I am eating now still have baby marshmallows attached.
I am not sure if that's a deal breaker. I'll let you know if I am still unable to get dressed in 24 hours.
Attitude Is Everything!
Debbie
To check in with Debbie or suggest a blog topic, email: dnigro@firstwivesworld.com
6 Ways to a Fresher Face & Slimmer Shape by Christmas
Posted to Resource Articles by Lois Joy Johnson on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:08am
Holiday season parties and get-togethers are already underway with save-the dates magnetized to the fridge. My married and single friends have been reading Skinny Bitch, the Secret, and The Power of Now in an effort to prime themselves for the season.
Lots of women I know are doing volunteer work at shelters, retirement homes, hospices and children’s hospitals during hours they used to spend shopping (so there is an upside to this bad economy!). Doing good for others encourages an optimistic attitude and confidence in your own future.
This is the time to network, socialize, and get back in the game. Whether you’re job hunting or seeking your soul mate, looking your best is essential.
Right now, the only splurging going on is at dermatologists’ offices, where new injectable fillers and fat treatments recently approved by the FDA are experiencing a pre-holiday surge. They do work, they are pricey (check with your dermatologist as prices vary around the country and from doctor to doctor), but I’ve included affordable alternatives too.
Here are the top three beauty peeves, with medical pro and at-home solutions for each.
Gripe 1: Expression Lines Make You Look Tired & Angry
The Long-Term Effects of Parents Fighting
Posted to Relevant News by Linda Lee on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:43am
Some day, in addition to taking your child’s temperature if you think she’s sick, there might come a time to take a child’s cortisol level to see if the arguing between you and your husband (or your ex) is stressing her out.
Researchers know that children who get upset when their parents fight are more likely to have later psychological problems. Science Daily reports that cortisol, a stress hormone, may be a culprit, and also a good marker.
Three universities — Rochester, Minnesota, Notre Dame — collaborated on the study, which looked at 208 mostly white 6 year olds and their mothers. The “arguments” were not face to face, but simulated arguments on the telephone. During and after the call, the researchers measured the child’s distress, hostility, and level of involvement in the argument. They also asked the mothers to record what kind of behavior they saw at home when there was an argument between the parents.
Don’t worry: no needles were involved. Cortisol can be measured with a simple saliva test. And the children who seemed most distressed by the mock argument showed higher levels of cortisol.
"Because higher levels of cortisol have been linked to a wide range of mental and physical health difficulties, high levels of cortisol may help explain why children who experience high levels of distress when their parents argue are more likely to experience later health problems," said Patrick T. Davies, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, who led the study.
The poll our site ran last week shows that the vast majority of our members feel that if the parents are truly unhappy, it never makes sense to stay together “for the sake of the children.” Children clearly suffer when there is tension in the home.
read more »Bet on Bangs for a Youthful Look
Posted to Resource Articles by Lois Joy Johnson on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 1:22am
I’ve been a Sixties girl all my life. I started out as an artsy teen- about-town at Parsons School of Design during the actual era, and quickly adopted the bangs and straight hair look I’ve had ever since. Nothing makes me happier than tights and flats, eyeliner and beige lipstick, and of course minis (the skirts and Coopers) and bangs.
As an adult woman, my long eye-grazing fringe has evolved from being my security blanket to my signature; but what I love most now are the camouflage benefits. So do a long list of my girlfriends aged 40+ who also vow never to let their bangs grow out. The group consensus is if we never do Botox again, no one will ever know.
Bangs accent your eyes and do make you look younger. They dress up your face when the rest of your hair is back in a ponytail and hide bad skimpy eyebrows too (so cross that off your worry list too!).
Bangs with a slightly layered bob are actually a very classic Coco Chanel kind of look. They happen to be the hottest hair trend at every age with fans ranging from Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour to Katie Holmes. Bangs look equally great on mothers and daughters like Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson.
Some men (including all of my exes) do this ‘brushing-the-hair-out-of-your-eyes’ gesture that is so annoying to women with a fringe. My husband Robert, on the other hand, panics if I pull my bangs back with a hairband during humid frizzy weather.
“Where are your bangs? I love those bangs! I married you for those bangs!” is his opening line on those mornings.
In the early days of our relationship I found beach holidays and showering together a little inhibiting because of this, but now I just laugh.
read more »Evening Gloves
(check out my blog every Wednesday and Saturday)
Posted to House Bloggers by Debbie Nigro on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 5:00pm
I feel like putting on my feetie pajamas at 5 o'clock. I know this happens every year when it begins getting dark early, but this year I can't take it any more. I am fighting back! Anything not to be on the couch for hours in between hustling back and forth to the refrigerator.
I need to suck up the daylight whenever I can so I have been forcing myself to get out. Mostly I try and make it to the gym because someone shrunk all the clothes in my closet.
To amuse myself I have been taking all the different kinds of classes they offer. Spin, pilates, kickboxing, body conditioning, etc. Monday night was boxing. I didn't notice I was the oldest person there until about half-way through. My chest was heaving and I was wondering if anyone in the gym had medical knowledge. What the heck was I thinking? After jumping rope, doing pushups on a hard wood floor, and completely flattening my manicure inside my boxing gloves on a punching bag, I had no idea if I would ever see darkness again...I was praying I could get back outside to the dark parking lot.
Too proud to flee, and with raccoon mascara eyes, I really hoped I wouldn't become a casualty. What's too much for a woman my age? Is there an age limit on boxing? Anyway, I made it through, high fived the 20 year olds on the way out and will continue to fight (box) getting SAD this year. SAD being Seasonal Affective Disorder. Lack of sunlight causes serious depression in many people. Figure out how to fight back at it if you are one of them. Maybe you should be the gloved one next?
Speaking of personal growth, here we go. Rob and I are heading to the Kripalu Center in western Massachusetts for a weekend of yoga and meditation. While I wasn't willing to do a workshop specifically for couples, our time there will no doubt bring transformation of some sort. Everyone who goes comes back changed.
I'm already dreading it, which is weird, because I'm a yogi who usually welcomes the opportunity to study with new teachers. I love how the steadiness and equanimity cultivated on the yoga mat make meeting life's challenges off the mat easier, and how each teacher brings unique insight to that process.
But I have big resistance toward growth with Rob. I guess that's what I was getting at in my last post. If you can muster enough compassion and forgiveness for a difficult or mismatched partner to get over your most serious conflicts, does that mean you have rendered moot the reasons you should not be together, end of story?
Can you forgive your way out of marital strife and into martial bliss?
Sure, but my question is: Is that the ONLY path? It's the only one any therapist has seen fit to send me down, and that has been bugging me. How about forgiving but still breaking up anyway? What about those couples who are like best friends and divorce without an ounce of acrimony? (Forget Date my Ex: Jo and Slade. There really are couples like this out there, right?)
That seems more like the path before me, though readers of my blog know I'm dragging my feet, too attached to my cozy life, fearful of separation.
I'll be back next week. Hopefully the Kripalu Center will be fantastic. I'll take the advice of a friend who said to have fun, just don't drink the Kool-Aid.
Girls' Night Out: Lipstick, not Lipo
Posted to Resource Articles by Lois Joy Johnson on Fri, 11/14/2008 - 12:02am
A night out with the girls is heaven, especially when you’re divorced and your chums are too. A glass of Sancerre or Diet Coke Plus and the honest exchange of beauty advice and gossip make Sex and the City seem tame. It’s the best time to dish over frenemies’ affairs, the diet-of-the-month, and whether boyfriend jeans flatter anyone over forty.
It’s the moment too for confessing your beauty sins to those who understand: like my friend Cheryl’s new Restylane pout (credited to “an amazing plumping gloss”), or Suzie’s Fraxel-smoothed face (“I gave up caffeine and sugar”), or Nan’s Sculptra cheekbones
(“I finally found the best facialist”). Naturally the cone of silence over that evening’s conversation means we will never discuss these topics again, especially with other people.
It’s not just the admission of getting a little medical help anymore.
Right now, when we’re worried about school tuition, mortgage payments, and healthcare, indulging in pricey dermatological procedures can bring on a guilt attack if addressed in public. Buying luxury skincare or splurging on a spa vacation can inspire the same discomfort as selling your grandmother’s silver.
Beauty is comfort food for women. The so-called “lipstick effect” cited by economists once again highlights the trend for us to buy small feel-good items like lipstick during times of crisis.
Divorced women are facing fierce competition in the workplace to protect their jobs, and even tougher challenges to get new ones if they’ve been restructured out of a position. The bar has been raised when it comes to the term “beauty boost.”
Sometimes a lipstick isn’t enough, so it’s important to stay non-judgmental if you (or a friend) think an eye-job or Botox are going to add that kick of confidence. But sometimes a new lipstick is truly all you need.
read more »