Now that Thanksgiving has passed, we know what comes next: the big push to find (and pay for) all kinds of presents for neighbors, co-workers, the mailman, church members, and that aged aunt we haven’t seen in 30 years.

Just in time, we’ve got a great discussion going on at FWW’s social network. Money, post-divorce, can be tight and our members have gotten together to exchange gift and decorating ideas to make the holidays more affordable. I thought I would share a few of their suggestions here. For more check out “Inexpensive holiday ideas" on the network.

Gifts:

• Buy Chinese take out boxes from Smart and Final, decorate the outside with the recipient's name and some frou-frou, then put in tissue paper, half a dozen or so cookies, and the recipe.

• Decorate holiday wreaths. Take a walk and collect pinecones, spray-paint them gold or silver and put them on the wreaths. Jo-Ann Fabrics & Crafts and Michaels have great sales on ornaments to add on the wreath. Try to theme your wreaths to your friends’ or relatives’ favorite hobbies, personal style, etc.

• Do you have a great cookie, bar or brownie recipe? If so, give someone else the chance to make it. Layer the dry ingredients in a mason jar. Decorate the top with Christmas fabric, pompoms, beads and so on. Write the recipe on a cute card. All the recipient has to do is add eggs and water and voila, tasty holiday treats!

• The Good: How to Put the "Give" into Thanksgiving
•The Bad: Divorce Yourself from the Thanksgiving Blues
• The Ugly: How to Navigate Nosy Divorce Questions on Thanksgiving

Do you dread Turkey Day? Are you feeling crankful instead of thankful? Maybe you have an obligation to go to your in-laws, when you and your husband are fighting, and not sure you will make it to Christmas. Or perhaps you are suddenly single again, and don’t want to go alone to your parents’ or grandparents’ table, but don’t want to be alone either. What if people are coming to your house, and you just don’t have that Thanksgiving spirit: the economy, your work, your life — none of it seems good dinner table material.

And all that work putting together the meal. You’ve never felt so alone.

Luckily, there are strategies to get you through anything. What about that long drive with a husband that seems soon to be your ex. You have difficulty talking to each other, and now you are going to be in a car for a couple of hours. What do you do?

• First tactic: invite someone else along. It can be under the guise of “poor Emily, we don’t want her to spend Thanksgiving alone!” But at least there will now be another person in the car. You can’t be too uncivil to each other. And at least you’ll have someone to talk to.

• Second tactic: honesty. Make a pact with your husband … you will both put on a good face, and not bring everyone else down with sniping and griping. You will respect each other, and you will get your stories straight, whatever those stories are.

• The Good: How to Put the "Give" into Thanksgiving
•The Bad: Divorce Yourself from the Thanksgiving Blues
• The Ugly: How to Navigate Nosy Divorce Questions on Thanksgiving

It's that time of year again: Thanksgiving. The relatives gather, friends come calling. Some genuinely want to know how you — and your relationship (or lack of one) — are doing; others are just plain nosy.

Here, FWW offers scenarios and questions you might encounter this T-Day. And since how you may be tempted to respond might not go over so well, we’ve enlisted Dr. Diana Kirschner, a psychologist specializing in love and relationships, to explain what you should say to avoid awkward moments and deflect any uncomfortable questions thrown your way. So sit down to a family dinner prepared to volley polite, PC answers right back at 'em. No curve balls this Thanksgiving!

As Dr. Diana explains, "These are answers based on the idea that you don't want to open up to these relatives. In general, feel free to simply smile and not answer a question — instead answer a question with another question directed at the person."

CONTEMPLATING DIVORCE

Even after all these years, it surprises me how powerless one can feel as a stepparent and how important it is to manage expectations. This crystallizes often over the holidays when I ask my stepchildren to help me with the holiday card and have to negotiate their schedules as though I'm a United Nations diplomat.

Unlike my 10-year-old son, with whom I can say, "Please be at this place at this time" — and when he doesn't, I can yell, "Get your butt down here now" — every request to my step daughters must be managed carefully.

At the same time, if you ask step kids how they feel after their parents’ divorce, they will say they feel powerless, with no say in anything, that they have to juggle between two families while negotiating roles, rules, and status in both households.

Recently I emailed my stepdaughter telling her that step parenting is a lot like gardening a bed of roses. Instead of getting to dig deep and attach myself to the root stock, I am allowed only to skim the surface and never feel as though I've penetrated top soil. If I grab the flower the wrong way, it can be prickly. But it is still beautiful and worth nurturing.

She emailed me this response: "Just like the rose, stepchildren cannot help but have thorns, because it is in their nature to protect their roots."

I loved this exchange because it is honest — and helpful. The holidays are an emotionally charged time for any family — but even more so for stepfamilies. After years of experience, and as a certified stepfamily coach, I have learned that the secret to having a good time during the holidays is recognizing that each person should have a say in some part of the event, which makes it more a democracy than a dictatorship. The other part is following the adage that no act of love, however small, is wasted.

This Thanksgiving, how about we Americans show gratitude for the Native Americans who originally presided over our country. November is National American Indian and Alaska Native Heritage Month, so this may be the time to make a pilgrimage to art museums showcasing Indian work.

John Grimes, former director of the Institute of American Indian Arts, one of the finest institutions in the US, sought to infuse the art world with a new vocabulary “based on global experience rather than Western ideals and history.”

The Smithsonian opened a new building on the Mall in Washington in 2004 to house the National Museum of the American Indian. In its first year in that location, the museum, which has branches in Manhattan and Maryland, was visited by more than three million people. Its collection of 800,000 artworks and artifacts from the Americas is an astonishing presentation of Native cultures.

As W. Richard West Jr., director of the museum and a man of Cheyenne and Arapaho lineage, said, “We are an institution of living cultures, not a museum of dying cultures.”

Here are his choices for the five museums with the best Native collections in the U.S.

The Heard Museum
Phoenix, Arizona

This center for contemporary Native American fine art boasts more than 35,000 pieces. Exhibits at the Heard have included the Celebration of Basket Weaving and Native Food Festivals, where top chefs demonstrate contemporary and traditional recipes. The online museum store offers Indian rugs, art, pottery, etc.

National Museum of the American Indian
Washington D.C.