Health and Body

Which presidential candidate do you feel will best address the concerns and issues that affect divorced women the most?

Marshall — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 00:04:38 -0400

* John McCain * Barack Obama * Neither One

Staying Motivated

Kathy Kaehler — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 08:11:55 -0500

Maintaining healthy eating habits and exercise can be so hard especially when you're going through a divorce. But Kathy encourages you to stick with it and offers three tips for doing just that: Put yourself first, embrace where you are in the diet and fitness process, and make a commitment to eating right and working out on a daily basis. You won't be sorry!

Click the following to return the main page for The Divorced Girl's Guilde to Getting Fit Post Divorce.

Click the following to return to the Divorce Resource Directory.

Change Is Good

Kathy Kaehler — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 08:23:28 -0500

Going through a divorce brings on so many changes — and not all of those changes are bad! Embrace the changes in your life and your workout routine. Kathy suggests mixing thing up a bit by adding strength training once or twice a week, trying new classes like cardio-salsa or even sports with your kids' Nintendo Wii. Incorporate changes in your workouts gradually and over time, you'll begin to reap the benefits.

The Pipes Have Burst, And Not a Man In Sight

Wanda Woodard — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:00:29 -0500

Approximately 1.8 billion people, including children and infants, live without indoor plumbing, and the water source that they may have is often as much as a mile away.

I'm not getting up on a soap box; but this fact is important when you are trying to explain to your 12- and 13-year-old kids that our pipes breaking and being without a commode or bath for two days is a minor setback in the grand scheme of things.

Our plumbing broke, and there was no male counterpart to even pretend that he might be able to fix it. It was my problem. I called the plumber, but it was Sunday. He came Monday afternoon. We went to my brother's home to bathe, but as far as that other necessity, well, let's just say we improvised.

No man. Well, there are many, many things I can think of that are much, much worse, in the grand scheme of things. And, on those rare occasions when I find that I actually have time to share with someone, over the age of 30, I'm so exhausted that it's a fleeting thought at best.

No man to fix my plumbing in my house, in my soul, in my body. And, that's alright. It may turn out to be alright for, well, forever. If men are only useful for plumbing and auto mechanics and, if you're lucky, garbage detail, but are not going to soothe your forehead when you are sick or rub your feet when you are tired or make dinner or run a bubble bath or buy some flowers, then to hell with it.

So, I'm alone, like so many of my fellow FWW'ers. And, it's okay. Sometimes it's wonderful. Sometimes it's incredible. Yes, I wish I had a full time partner to share my life with, but I don't. However, what I do have is indoor plumbing, so I'm headed to the shower to bask in hot, running water, soap, steam, and my life, which, for the most part, is a very good life.

I Just Flipped the Switch On My Sunshine Simulator

Debbie Nigro — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:22:22 -0500

Serious winter calls for serious sunshine. I just pulled mine out of the closet. I bought my Verilux HappyLite a couple years ago. People laughed and laughed until they tried it and got happy, too.

This year especially, nothing could be cheaper than taking a vacation in your living room. Talk about punting during a recession.

Years ago I interviewed Nicholas Harmon, the CEO of Verilux, the happy lighting company, to understand how his lights were different. They are. It's called full spectrum lighting and there is such a thing as light therapy. This version of course, will have you talking to yourself unless you invite company.

These Verilux lights simulate daylight and the effect that a nice bright sunny day outside has on your brain. Plants grow better, kids do better on homework and if you suffer from SAD, seasonal affective disorder (lack of sunshine), a half hour a day exposed to this kind of light helps offset depression. Unfortunately you don't get tan...just happy. Ok then, sunshine you can afford. Check out Verilux Light Therapy Products and Full Spectrum Lighting.

p.s. If I sounded happier than usual it's because I am writing this with my HappyLite on.

Attitude is everything!
Best,
Debbie

Dancing Seeing Stars

Debbie Nigro — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 13:28:07 -0500

Happy New Year! Time for new resolutions. I decided to try Zumba.

You may have seen the new infomercials of the gyrating hips hopping their way to weight loss. Me too. My local gym added the class this week so I went. How hard can gyrating be?

Ask my stiff neck.

The music is fun, and the steps are easy to catch on to, But keeping up the pace? Let's just say the moves reminded me of some I may have attempted after a few cosmos late at night in some club once upon a time. (Okay — last week.)

Zumba without strobe lights and liquor? Whew! Tough sweaty stuff. Made me have new respect for those Dancing with the Stars people. Me, I was dancing seeing stars, utilizing muscles that apparently went into early retirement. In the mirror behind the instructor I watched myself do hip gyrations that would make my mother blush and my daughter leave town.

Zumba, my dear girlfriends, is the perfect workout for those of you just heading back into the dating game. Just be prepared for moves you haven't used in a while and get some Ben Gay. That's all I have to say.

Attitude is everything!
Debbie

Leave me a comment or email me anytime at dnigro@firstwivesworld.com

A Sane and Sober New Year's Eve

Sondra Simmons — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 23:23:42 -0500

I don't drink. It took a long time and some hard knocks to teach me that I just ought not consume alcohol, because my life is better when I don't.

But New Year's Eve is a good time for me to remember that.

It's pretty simple. I know there is nothing I can't make worse by adding alcohol to it. But the idea that one doesn't drink, ever, can be really difficult for people to grasp because drinking is such a huge part of life in these United States.

Big events are easy. I secure a glass of ginger ale or cola as soon as I arrive. When I have something in my hand, there's no reason for anybody to try to put a drink there, and I've never had anybody make a big deal of the fact that I'm abstaining from alcohol.

When I attend a more intimate affair, I bring sparkling cider or juice so I‘m sure there's something I‘ll enjoy.

But at either type of gathering, if the nonalcoholic drinks run out, if the shenanigans of the drinkers get to be a bit much, or if I find myself wanting a drink, I thank my hostess and leave.

Those who drink alcohol can be curious or unsettled in the presence of those who don't. Often people who have a problem with the idea that someone doesn't drink have an alcohol problem of their own. Others may simply be unused to the concept, just as it can take a while for some people to understand that "vegetarian" means not eating flesh at all, not even turkey or fish.

I've tried to assure the people I care about that they needn't worry about drinking in my presence. My alcohol issues are mine, and I don't want anybody else to get caught up in them.

The best way I've found to do that is not to take a drink. And so I will not be having a drink on New Year's Eve. Or, I hope, any other time.

Will Work for Health Insurance

Sondra Simmons — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:10:32 -0500

I think I want to become a cashier. In yesterday's classifieds I found an ad seeking Cashiers — yes, with a capital C. One of the grocery stores I frequent is looking for cashiers (who also will get to stock shelves and clean floors) to start at $10.80 per hour.

That's a lot more than I made last time I was a cashier.

This company appears to treat its workers better than everybody I cashiered for in my misspent youth, too. The people at the registers sit in chairs and customers bag their own purchases.

But, and this is what really got my attention, employees are eligible for insurance covering medical, dental, and vision after 90 days.

Wow. That would've been enough to get me excited, but wait, there's more: The company also offers a retirement income plan and 401(k), paid vacation after six months — and an extra dollar an hour for working on Sundays, when they don't open until noon.

I remember real jobs, the kind that offered such marvelous benefits. And the benefits are what I really need, thank you very much; if I could get an employer to give me decent health insurance, I might be willing to forgo a salary.

Heaven knows I've made do without one for years.

I have a graduate degree and lots of experience in areas other than retail. Before I moved, the Good Doctor instructed me not to sell myself short in my quest for work. She might not exactly approve of my aspiration to ring up roasts, instant coffee, and bags of apples.

On the other hand, I think she'd probably appreciate my desire to keep feeding and housing myself and the animals and to have the medical coverage I so feared losing when I got divorced.

When she got divorced, she was a waitress.

The ad says a representative will be available to meet Cashier hopefuls tomorrow beginning at 7 am. It'll be pretty cold then.

I hope the line won't be too long.

2008: The Year in Divorce

Marshall — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 00:34:24 -0500

The splits. The fits. The emotional pits. And all the couples who called it quits.

This past year had it all. Some stories touched us, others moved us, many angered us, and a few even tickled us.

After much culling and sifting, we narrowed it down to 20 of our top picks from 2008. We hope you enjoy this little look back as we prepare to move forward.

The Let’s-Just-Be-Friends Award
(Most Amicable Divorce)

Robin Williams and Marsha Garces Williams

Talk about civil unions. No sooner had the couple announced their split after 19 years of marriage than they signed an official agreement stating "we commit ourselves to the collaborative divorce process and agree to seek a positive way to resolve our differences justly and equitably” — all for the sake of their two children. For those of you playing along at home, this is the way to go.

Runner Up: Dixie Chick Emily Robison and singer Chris Robison. How do we know they were both “ready to make nice”? Their divorce took a mere six months, and the filing was a scant two and a half pages.

The ‘Til-Death-Do-Us-Part Award
(Most Devoted Husband)

Mohammed Bello Abubakar

When Nigerian cleric Abubakar, 84, was told he had to divorce all but four of his 86 wives, he refused – even though doing so might lead to the death penalty. He is currently behind bars, fighting for his love. And you thought “Titanic” was the greatest love story ever told.

The Golden Goose Award
(Biggest Settlement)

Madonna & Guy Ritchie

I Need New Jeans!: 3 Ways to Rationalize A Splurge

Lois Joy Johnson — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 00:02:12 -0500

The day after Thanksgiving (known in retail as Black Friday) and the following Cyber Monday made barely a dent in our closets this year. There were no fights over designer outfits at the outlets, and trendy clothes are still sitting on 40% markdown racks at local department stores and mall boutiques.

We’re all on a clothes diet, applying the same selective attitude to fashion that we did to feasting, with stuffing, gravy, and pecan pie sitting untouched while the veggies and lean turkey got gobbled up.

Come to think of it, most women I know made it through this year’s celebratory day with a calorie counter and post-meal workout. Which means sooner or later you (or rather, we) are going to binge — it’s inevitable during the holiday season.

When you do, whether it’s double chocolate chip cookies or a pair of Current/Elliot jeans, you’ll be asking yourself, “is it worth it?” Most women say they’re desperate for a new pair of jeans but have taken a sensible, unsentimental approach to almost everything else.

Here’s my pragmatic guide to a little denim indulgence. It’s practically guilt-free.

Tell yourself:

1. Winter is really the ideal time to wear skinny jeans. They’re easy to tuck into knee-high boots, big Hunter rain boots, or Uggs. Think of them as leggings with more substance and control. In a thicker stretch denim, they work like a body shaper. Choose a medium rise, so you’re not tugging them up all day, and a very dark even-toned wash or black for ultra-slimming power. This style is where you can get away with a really low-cost jean, because what really shows is the top of thighs to knees; the rest is covered.